


When I'm With You - Barely Breathing

by sentencefragments



Series: When I'm With You [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Felicity is a Merlyn, season 1 rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-04-23 11:12:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4874542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentencefragments/pseuds/sentencefragments
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ARROW AU - The prodigal son returns! After five years...away, because Felicity knows he wasn't on that island all the time, Oliver finally finds his way home. Her feelings for him are as strong as ever, but there's something about him that isn't quite right, and she can't seem to figure out what it is that he's hiding from her. (Part 3 of the 'When I'm WIth You'-Series)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken

_****_

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight_  
_Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time_  
_I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts_  
_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

 _I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_  
_With a broken heart that's still beating_  
_In the pain, there is healing_  
_In your name I find meaning_  
_So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on_  
_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

 _The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head_  
_I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead_  
_I still see your reflection inside of my eyes_  
_That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life_

 _I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_  
_with a broken heart that's still beating_  
_In the pain, is there healing_  
_In your name, I find meaning_  
_So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on_  
_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

* * *

 

It was time. It had been too long. He was ready. Those three thoughts were on a loop in his head as he ran towards the rocky cliff where he'd stashed his bow and arrows. His feet were aching, the bare soles calloused from the rough terrain they'd been exposed to. Jumping over a chasm in the rock, the wind bit through whatever scraps of clothing he had left. He ignored it because it was time for him to go home. His fingers didn't fumble while loosening the makeshift quiver to take his arrows, even though they were numb from the cold.

His back hurt, unhealed cuts were stinging and he was downright exhausted, but if he didn't make the shot, couldn't catch the attention of the fisher boat he could barely make out in the distance, god knows how long it would be before the next one dared to come as near to Lian Yu as this one. There had been less and less opportunities for him to get off this damned island the longer he sat there sulking. Either there was less fish to be caught, or the Chinese Coast Guard had become more adamant in its warning to stay the hell away from there.

This had been the first boat in weeks, and he wasn't going to miss his chance. So, he ignored the pain and discomfort and aimed the flaming arrow at the pile of wood and explosives.

He was going home.

* * *

His mother was the first familiar face he saw. After two days of doctors and nurses fretting over him, all stunned that he'd survived with the amount of injuries he'd suffered and scar tissue littering his body. They even called in a hairdresser to make him look more civilized. The dirty shag was traded in for a croppy do slightly longer than a buzzcut.

His mother walked in slowly, hesitantly, closing the door behind her quietly.

"Oliver?" She'd whispered.

He'd turned away from the window to look at her. He was really home this time. A tiny smile made its way onto his lips as he stepped forward.

"Mom."

She was crying, walking over to him and wrapping him up in her arms. Oliver let himself embrace her, letting his guard down for just a moment.

"My beautiful boy." She whispered, pressing a kiss to his neck. He felt the wetness of her tears against his skin and held her a little tighter.

* * *

It had been five days since she'd first heard the news and Felicity had only one question. Why hadn't she seen Oliver yet?

She'd wanted to go to the hospital immediately after he was admitted, but visitation was limited to family only. She'd tried to argue with the doctors that she was practically family, but when even Moira, the only member of the Queen family who'd seen him since he got off the plane from China told her that maybe it was better to wait a little while, she knew there was nothing she could do. It had only raised more questions and had led to Felicity being less than productive at work. She'd been staring out in front of her for an hour, letting the worry run through her head, imagining how he was doing, if he was hurt really badly and that's why they wouldn't let her see him. Or maybe he had an extreme case of PTSD and couldn't see anyone. She knew he hadn't just been on the island so it was possible that he had seen things that made him more messed up than five years of seclusion. She was genuinely worried for him and the fact that he'd been in the hospital for three days without a sign of life wasn't helping.

She jumped when her assistant Jerry suddenly knocked on her desk, his eyebrows knitted together.

With a hand over her racing heart, Felicity looked up at him. "I yelped, didn't I?"

Jerry nodded with a smile. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Miss Merlyn, but you have a meeting with the other department heads in ten minutes."

Felicity's eyebrows flew up towards her hairline. She'd forgotten about that meeting, a very important meeting that she should probably have prepared for.

"You seemed quite distracted and I didn't want you to be late." Jerry said.

Felicity nodded. "First, please just call me Felicity. It's been almost two years, Jerry. And second…"

She stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, you're a godsend."

They smiled at each other and Felicity started gathering her files for the department meeting, she looked up again when Jerry didn't move to get back to his desk. He was biting his lower lip nervously, shifting his weight between his feet.

"Jerry? What is it? Is something wrong?" She asked, lifting an eyebrow.

He shook his head. "No, no, everything is fine, but uhm…."

Felicity motioned for him to go on, spill his beans already.

"Mrs. Queen called to invite you to dinner tonight."

Felicity raised an eyebrow, wondering why that had him so nervous. It was nothing new for Moira to call and invite her for something. She knew that she could be quite intimidating but Jerry had talked to her more than a handful of times already.

"Oliver's coming home tonight." He said, a little more quiet.

Ah. There it was.

Felicity's world stopped spinning for a moment. Sure, she had been thinking about him a lot, but she hadn't actually thought about what it would be like to see him again. He would be different, of course, but how much. Would she even recognize the man she fell in love with. Would he still smile that stupid boyish grin even though he went through hell and back. Felicity swallowed, pulling herself out of her little reverie and nodded slowly.

"Oh."

She didn't know how exactly but she managed to get to the meeting with the department heads and sit through it all without calling too much attention to herself. Time passed by seemingly quickly and before she knew it she had changed into something fancier for dinner at the Queens and was pulling up on their driveway. She was quite amazed at the fact that she hadn't gotten in an accident or got pulled over for speeding in her rush to get to the mansion.

The gate opened without her even having to buzz in anymore. She drove all the way down to the house, parking in her usual spot to the left. Silencing the car did nothing to help silence her inner struggles. Her nerves were flaring up like never before and she thought she might hurl if there was any food left in her stomach. She hadn't been able to eat all day.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the car, the gravel grinding under her high heels. She locked her car and made her way to the front door where she, without even knowing why, paused with her hand on the doorknob.

This was it, she would finally see him again. Even though she loved him so, as a lover and a friend, she knew it was going to take more than love for them to go back to the way they were before the accident. The night of her twenty first birthday had been wonderful, but it had been rushed because they both knew they didn't have much time. They loved each other but Oliver would have to find himself, find his place in society before he could be with her. It was going to be hard, but they would get through this. He needed her to be patient, and that's what she would be.

With one last deep breath Felicity turned the doorknob and stepped into the foyer. There he was, she recognized him in a split-second. His back was to her as he was looking at the framed pictures on the center table Moira had so elegantly arranged. She was in a few of them. His shoulders were broader than she remembered, the navy blue sweater tight around the breadth of him. His hair was cropped short like after the time he had gotten gum stuck in it.

Felicity bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes as she watched him. Quietly, she closed the door behind her and sighed. Her fingers tightened on her clutch, knuckles white.

He turned around, gaze meeting hers like he was pulled towards it with a magnet. His eyes were still the same. They had seen things, but the blue was still as vibrant as always. His shoulders relaxed and a hesitant smile turned up his lips.

"Felicity…" He breathed, taking a tentative step forward.

And then she was in his arms, head on his shoulder, tears ruining his sweater. He was warm and comfortable just the way she remembered.

* * *

He heard her hesitate on the front steps, putting her hand on the doorknob but not yet turning it. His heart started hammering in his chest like it had been silent for the last two years. With one last look at the framed picture in his hands, one of him and his father when he was about five or so, he placed it back where he'd found it. The door opened and it felt like he could breathe again, a sense of relief flooding his brain and his heart.

"Oliver…" She breathed, barely audible but for his trained ears.

Slowly, he turned around to face her. He hadn't been the only one that had changed. She looked beautiful, her hair curled in soft waves, the silky golden ringlets falling just past her shoulders. Her eyes weren't obstructed by her glasses but her lips were just as brightly colored as always. The blood red dress she was wearing showed off her curves, two small cut-outs on her sides showing off a little skin. She looked stunning in it.

"Felicity…" He said, smile creeping up on his lips.

She smiled back at him, first step towards him hesitant, the next much more sure. Then she was practically running towards him, launching herself into his arms. With one hand on the back of her neck, he pulled her against him, wrapping his other arm tightly around her. Her hair smelled different than how he remembered, but just as sweet. He could feel the wetness of her tears through his sweater and held her a little tighter, rubbing slow circles over her back with his hand.

"I'm sorry." She said, pulling away slightly to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I just can't believe you're really here."

He let out a breathy laugh and smiled softly at her. His hands slipped from around her waist, lingering on her elbows as he wasn't willing to completely let go of her yet. "It's been too long."

Felicity nodded, a sad but reassuring smile on her face. "It has."

She looked heartbroken, a sadness in her eyes Oliver had only seen once before; when her father had left her on their doorstep eighteen years ago. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach as she looked down at her feet. Taking an unsure breath, she shook her head a little and met his gaze again. She reached up and cupped his cheek, a smile that he knew was forced on her lips.

"But I'm really glad you're back."

* * *

Dinner was fairly uneventful. Almost.

Walter Steele and his mother sat across from him on the other end of the table, sharing stolen glances while engaging in the casual conversation. Felicity and Thea were seated on either side of him, bombarding him with big events he had missed. Superbowl winners, exciting new movies and TV-shows –those were mostly Felicity's expertise— and of course the new president.

The easy chatter faded when Thea asked him what it had been like on the island. A deadly silence fell over the room. You could hear a pin drop if someone had tossed one on the floor. After a moment to compose himself, he smiled gently at his 'not so little anymore' sister.

"Cold." He said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Oliver saw Felicity swallow in his peripheral vision. He glanced over to her as she played with her food. They'd all been tiptoeing around the obvious elephant in the room; everything that had happened in those five years. The happy things were easy to talk about, if they could just pretend he'd been on a five year spa retreat or something. Oliver could understand that it was hard to talk about, he didn't really want to talk about his time away either, it brought back memories and feelings that were anything but pleasant, except for a few bright spots.

The silence was broken when Raisa tripped over a crease in the carpet. On a reflex, he caught the bowl of salad she'd been holding and grabbed her arm so she wouldn't fall on her face completely.

"Oh, I am so sorry, Mister Oliver." She apologized immediately, finding her balance again.

«все в порядке, не безпокойся»* He replied with a gentle smile.

That caught the attention of the rest of the people in the room. Five pairs of eyes stared at him in either wonder or plain disbelief.

"I didn't realize you took Russian in college, Oliver?" Walter said. He was the first on to un-freeze, trying to make the situation less uncomfortable. To no use.

"I didn't realize you wanted to sleep with my mother, Walter." He replied, staring the man dead in the eye before turning to his mother.

Moira looked at Thea, who shook her head. "I didn't say anything."

"She didn't have to." He said.

His mother sighed softly and turned back to look at him, reaching for Walter's hand.

"Oliver, Walter and I are married."

There was the other big elephant in the room that he wasn't sure existed until now. He'd suspected something was up when Walter had been invited to what was supposed to be a 'family dinner'.

His gazed moved to Felicity, who was smiling at him encouragingly.

"I don't want you to think either of us did anything to disrespect your father." Moira said.

Taking a deep breath he nodded, fingers flexing under the table before he stood up.

"May I be excused, please?"

Moira nodded. "Of course, sweetheart, whatever you need."

With a hand on Felicity's shoulder in passing and a wink to his sister, he sought out a spot where he could silence his inner demons for the time being.

* * *

Felicity watched his back retreat through the arch leading to the living room. She knew exactly where he was going. The rest of them finished the main course but when it was time for dessert, she excused herself to go check on him. She figured she'd give him some alone time, to think about all the new things he'd learned today.

She followed the path he'd taken 10 minutes ago onto the back porch. Seated on the wooden bench overlooking the garden with his elbows resting on his knees, was Oliver. Closing the door behind her, she made her way towards him, sitting down next to him with a soft sigh.

"Hey." She whispered, wrapping her scarf a little tighter around herself to shield her from the cold that was creeping in with sunset.

He smiled at her, just a little. She could just make out the lines in his face in the dim lighting the porch provided. They sat in silence for a while, watching the last of the sunlight disappear behind the horizon.

"Why'd you pick this spot?" She asked when they were surrounded by darkness.

Oliver pushed off his knees and leaned back against the bench, turning his head so he could look at her.

"You know why." He whispered.

Oh she had known why, but she'd needed the confirmation that his mind was exactly where hers was. New Year's Eve 2004, the first time they'd kissed.

"You okay back there?"

Oliver nodded, staring into the distance like he was watching something she couldn't see. "It's a lot to take in. I didn't really think about how much everything would have changed, Thea especially."

"She's not a little kid anymore, that's for sure." Felicity said. "Your disappearance was rough on her."

She started fumbling with her scarf as she continued. "Your mom was confined to her bedroom in grief and Thea was all alone in this big house. Then after a while, Walter helped your mom get back to her life but Thea was still alone. I tried to help her as much as possible but I barely kept it together myself."

Oliver put a hand on her knee and squeezed softly. She looked up at him with watery eyes.

"Thank you." He whispered.

She smiled softly, putting her hand over his on her knee. "You're welcome."

Sighing, her turned over her hand and took it in his, thumb softly stroking over the back. They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the comfort of each other's presence without any conditions or obligations.

"I know you're probably curious about where I've been." He said, turning his head to look at her.

Felicity let out a breathy laugh. "Eh, just a little." She teased. That got a tiny smile out of him.

"Give me some time?" He asked.

Nodding, Felicity put a hand on his arm. "I have to go to work tomorrow but why don't I take you around the city after? We could get dinner at this amazing Italian place and take a walk in the new park that was built in honor of the last Mayor. You know, so you can get to know the city again. Fall in love with her again."

She hadn't meant to say those words, and the double interpretation of it wasn't lost on her either, making her cringe internally. She watched Oliver's face as he thought it over, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips before he looked at her.

"It's a date." He said casually, making her blush a little. His words made her heart flutter. Even after all those years of worrying and uncertainty, Oliver still had that effect on her.

"I really am happy you're back." She whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.

* * *

The next day was the day the secrets started. Before the crack of dawn, Oliver sneaked out of the mansion, trekking all the way across town to the abandoned steel factory his family still owned. He hated lying to Felicity, Thea and his mother, but there was no way he was going to be able to do what needed to be done if they knew. Because what he was going to do wasn't exactly legal. Or morally correct.

It was easy enough to break into the forgotten building, the fences not too high to jump over and the people living in the surrounding area not interested enough to keep an eye out or care if someone was breaking in. He broke through the rusty chains keeping the door shut, letting some light into the wide open space. Birds scattered, flying out of the holes in the roof as he stepped inside, dust flying up in their wake.

Crouching down, Oliver picked up one of the flyers that were littering the floor. His father's picture proudly on the front with the promise of stable jobs and a fair pay. Oh how that had turned out. His father had moved production to China just before the depression had hit, saving them millions, but causing at least 1500 people to lose their jobs. Throwing the piece of paper to the side, he shrugged off his backpack, pulling out his pickaxe.

From the blueprints he'd found, he knew where he had to cut through the concrete to get to the basement level he would be using for his base of operations.

* * *

_*"It's okay, don't worry about it."_

 

 **Outfits:**[Felicity at the office](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=178539321), [Felicity and Oliver at dinner](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=178539649)


	2. Underwater

_ _

_You were the air filling my lungs_  
_Till you sunk into the ocean_  
_I followed you the storm around you_  
_And I've got lost out there_

 _Breathe, breathe I can no longer_  
_Breathe, breathe underwater_  
_Breathe, breathe I can no longer_  
_Breathe, breathe underwater_  
_Breathe, breathe I can no longer_  
_Breathe, breathe underwater_  
_Breathe, breathe I can no longer_  
_Breathe, breathe underwater_

 _Underwater_  
_Underwater_  
_Underwater_  
_Underwater_  
_Underwater_

 _Drifting away and it kills me_  
_I am my worst enemy_  
_I call for you, my only rescue_  
_Cause I got lost out here_

* * *

"Merlyn, table for two." Oliver said to the maître d' as he unbuttoned the jacket he'd literally just buttoned five seconds ago after stepping out of the town car that had dropped him off. Felicity had made reservations at a small Italian restaurant in downtown Starling City. She'd mentioned the Gnocchi here was 'to die for'. As she realized just what exactly she'd just said, she dove headfirst into rambling about how she obviously didn't mean that literally. Oliver had smiled fondly at the nervous blush that had appeared on the apples of her cheeks. He'd missed that. Missed her. Her rambling always managed to make him smile. It was a part of her, and even though she sometimes desperately wished for a cure for her non-existent brain to mouth filter, Oliver wouldn't change it for the world.

"This way, Mr. Queen." The man said after checking the reservation, knowing exactly who was dining in his restaurant that night and leading him through to the back. Felicity sure had given this some thought, Oliver thought as he was lead to a more secluded area. He spotted her before she saw him, dark red bottom lip tucked between her teeth as she was playing with her necklace. He recognized the baby blue gemstone hanging around her neck. It had been his gift to her on her sixteenth birthday. She still wore it. His heart swelled at the thought.

The royal blue dress she was wearing made her skin look iridescent in the low lighting. Her hair was down again, just like the previous night, this time curled like you'd see in old movies but subtler. Somehow she made it look even more glamorous.

Her face lit up when she noticed him walking up to their table and he could only imagine the love-struck expression he'd been sporting while staring at her in awe. Felicity stood up from her chair to greet him, warm smile on her face.

"Sorry I'm late." He apologized as he pulled her in for a hug.

"Turns out, none of your suits fit anymore after five years." That was a lie. His mother had made sure he had enough clothing that fit him. He'd been scouring the internet for intel on Adam Hunt.

She let out a soft chuckle and shook her head a little. "It's okay, you haven't kept me waiting that long."

Their hands lingered as they got seated. "You look gorgeous, by the way."

Felicity blushed, looking down at their entwined hands, thumb softly stroking along his index finger. "Thank you, you look not so bad yourself in your brand new suit."

He laughed. He actually, really, laughed. It was a soft laugh, but a laugh. It felt good. He would have given it more thought, analyzed the way she was able to bust down all the walls he'd built around his heart, if a waiter hadn't come to take their drink order and Felicity pulled her hand out of his grasp. It was a simple question, really. And one he already knew the answer to. He loved her. But, he wasn't ready to admit that. It was too dangerous considering what he was doing every night.

Oliver asked for a scotch and before he could turn to Felicity, she asked for a water.

"Are you sure? The alcohol might help with the..." He asked, putting up a hand to stop the waiter.

"Nerves? Yeah, no, it's not gonna mix well with the three benzos I took earlier." She replied, lips pressed into a firm line as she ducked her head in slight shame.

"Oh.." Oliver said, letting the waiter leave this time.

Felicity sighed, linking and unlinking her fingers on the table. She met his gaze for a second, only to blush and look away again.

"This is crazy." She said. "We've known each other for almost twenty years, why are we so nervous?"

Oliver shrugged and smiled softly at her from across the table. "It's been a while."

She nodded. "Yeah, it has."

The waiter came back with their drinks, breaking a slightly awkward silence.

"Listen…" Felicity said when he was out of earshot. "I don't wanna force you into anything you're not ready for yet. I know you probably need some time and I really don't wanna jump to conclusions here, but I get it if you're not ready for a relationship or anything. But just, don't cut me off completely okay? I need you in my life… and I can't go through losing you agai—"

"Felicity." He whispered, pulling the brakes on her rambling. "Let's just enjoy dinner and take things one day at a time."

She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and nodded in agreement. Smiling, she reached for her glass of water and lifted it up.

"To a fresh start." She said.

Oliver smiled and took hold of his own glass. "To a fresh start." He echoed, clinking their glasses together.

* * *

After dinner, they took a long walk through the park Felicity had suggested the night before. It was beautiful at night, street lamps casting a soft glow across the path. Felicity said the park was the one good thing that had come out of this particular mayor's term in office. He'd passed away after a heart attack, probably because he ate his weight in greasy food every day. The city had been lacking competent mayoral candidates, so it had been a choice between Mr. Greasebag and Mr. Racist. That had been easy enough.

She told him about the growing poverty and disintegration of once such proud buildings. It wasn't pretty. The economy was having a hard time and the Glades was scarier than ever. Crime rates were through the roof and the local mafia gangs had grown more powerful over the years.

"When Robert died, The QC stock rates dropped like flies on a hot summer day. Investors pulled out of projects, mergers weren't finalized and there were a lot of cutbacks. Your mother was grieving but also had to keep the company alive." She explained over coffee in the pavilion overlooking the lake in the center of the park.

Wrapping her hands around the steaming mug, Felicity sighed. "It was a rough time for all of us."

"What happened?" Oliver asked, watching her intently.

Felicity smiled into her coffee. "Walter swooped in with his British accent." She chuckled.

"He saved the company, so be nice to him" She playfully pushed at his shoulder, making him smile a little.

The rest of the walk back to her car, they talked about happier things. Her job at QC, the apartment she bought when she'd saved up enough to move out without her father's help, her favorite new TV-shows that he _had_ to watch, the best places to get coffee in the morning, and where they had the best cinnamon rolls.

Oliver listened to her attentively, commenting on things he thought were interesting or funny, but really he was just glad to have her arm through his, her hand at his elbow as she huddled close against the cold.

Her car was parked around the back of the restaurant, where'd they'd created a small parking lot for their customers. The bright red mini cooper was easy enough to spot, even in the dark. He walked her to the driver's side, reluctantly letting go of her hand.

"Are you sure I can't drive you home?" She asked, digging into her purse for her car keys.

Oliver shook his head. "Thanks, but there's a car waiting for me."

She smiled softly. "I had a really nice time tonight."

"Wanna do it again sometime?" He replied, teasingly raising an eyebrow, grinning. He couldn't help it. He'd missed her so the past five years and her smile was as beautiful as ever. He needed to see it again, to never fade. He'd told himself his mission was to come first, and if that meant putting a stop to relationships or break hearts, than that was what he was going to do. He already found himself tempted to break that resolution. Because of her.

Felicity let out a breathy laugh. "Definitely. Call me with that shiny new phone of yours."

Nodding, Oliver pulled her in for one last hug goodbye. He allowed himself to close his eyes for one second, take in the sweet smell of her shampoo before pulling back. Both of them lingered, faces closer than expected. Felicity's gaze met his, blue against blue. She didn't move to pull away, a hand moving from the back of his neck down his throat, a single nail scratching lightly. Their breaths forming foggy clouds in the cool October night air, mixing together in their closeness. Everything inside him screamed at him to put a halt to this, but he couldn't.

"Oliver.." She breathed.

Her presence was intoxicating, and that's probably why he only heard the swish of a tiny, pointy object flying through the air when it was too late. Felicity's eyes went wide for a split-second, before rolling to the back of her head. Her eyelids fell shut as she went limp in his arms.

"Felicity?" He called out desperately, hand moving to the side of her neck, quickly locating the tiny needle. He pulled it out, tossing it to the ground. He cursed at himself for not paying more attention, letting his guard down.

"Felicity?! C'mon, wake up!" He said, gently patting her cheek.

He was so busy keeping her safe, that he couldn't protect himself and soon, he felt the prick on the side of his neck and everything went black.

* * *

Oliver came to when he was being put down in a chair, his arms pulled behind his back, straining painfully because of the force that was used. He couldn't see anything, everything was black and even though his brain was still a bit fuzzy from the drug they'd injected him with, he was pretty sure there was a bag over his head.

He began to focus on keeping his balance, trying to get the drug out of his system by pure force of will. He listened carefully to their abductors, hoping they'd give away anything that would give him an advantage. He heard the buzzing of a taser and the bag was yanked off his head.

The sudden light was blinding, causing him to squint and blink a couple times before everything came into focus again. They were in a dusty warehouse. The air was cold, his breath condensing as he looked around the space frantically, searching for Felicity, making sure she was still alive.

"Mr. Queen!" One of the masked men said, buzzing the taser so close to his face he could feel the heat the electricity generated.

Oliver ignored him, finally spotting Felicity. Her hands were tied around her back, the zip tie looking painfully tight. She was lying face first on a wooden pallet, blonde hair fanning out over her face and onto the dirty ground. She looked cold, her skin pale, knees scabbed as she lay there so uncomfortable. Oliver's stomach twisted in a knot. They weren't going to get away with this.

"Did your father survive that accident?" The man said.

Looking around, Oliver counted his opponents. One, two, three armed men with machine guns, and the one with the taser.

"I ask the questions and you're going to give me the answers." Taser said, losing his patience with his abductee.

Oliver's hands strained against his ties, refusing to give the man what he wanted. Turning around, the man shrugged at his partners before pressing the Taser to Oliver's chest. He grunted in pain, but he wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Did he make it to the island? Did he tell you anything?"

The searing pain of the electricity running through his body again left him panting, breathing hard through gritted teeth, spit flying at his abductor. Not that he cared, the anger inside him roared like a caged lion.

"Yes he did." Oliver muttered. "He told me I was going to kill you."

* * *

Reaching consciousness to what felt like the worst hangover ever, wasn't exactly how Felicity had imagined her night ending. She groaned as someone shook her body, giving her headache extra fire. Then she remembered. Walking back to her car. How close he had been and how alluring his lips had looked. How she'd wanted to kiss them to find out if they were as soft as she remembered. The prick in her neck and the darkness as her knees had given out. Oliver. Where was he? Was he hurt?

Her eyes flew open to see him hovering over her, concern in his eyes. One of his hands was on her cheek, his free arm holding her against him. She looked around frantically, eyes still adjusting to the sudden light, her headache rearing its nasty head at her temples.

"Oh thank god you're awake" he breathed in relief.

Felicity held on to his jacket as he helped her sit up. She winced when she moved a little too fast, reaching for her head. She could feel a bump forming under her fingers.

"Hey, are you okay?" Oliver asked, worry in his voice as he moved his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck to steady her.

Felicity nodded, slowly. "Yeah…what happened?"

"Abduction. They wanted money." He responded, as if it was the most natural thing to happen. Which, well, it wasn't exactly uncommon for rich people to get abducted for money.

"I called the police, and the ambulance will be here any moment." Oliver said, reaching for her cheek, wiping away some smudged make-up.

They sat huddled close, Felicity hadn't let go of his jacket. "Are you okay?" She whispered.

"Yes. Not even a scratch." He smiled softly as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her head onto his shoulder, the sirens getting closer and closer.

"Way to ruin a great night." Felicity muttered, brushing some dirt off her knees.

Oliver let out a breathy laugh and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Minor letdown, but I still had a great evening."

She looked up at him, a warm smile on her face. "You did?" She asked.

Nodding, Oliver squeezed her shoulder. "You were with me. How could I not?"

Felicity blushed a little, looking down at her hands as they let the silence fill the empty warehouse as they waited. It wasn't for long because something was bothering Felicity. Something was off. She was missing something she couldn't figure out. And she really did hate mysteries.

"So, if they wanted money, how did we get free? Because god knows my dad would never negotiate with criminals, not even for me." She looked up at Oliver, his jaw clenching and unclenching before he met her gaze.

"There was a man in a green hood. He saved us." He said with a small smile tugging at his lips.

* * *

The day after the abduction both Oliver and Felicity –who had stayed over, too shaken up to drive or be in her apartment by herself- were asked to give their statement by none other than detective Quentin Lance. To say it was an uncomfortable meeting between him and Oliver, would be understatement of five years stranded on an island. They sat in the main living area of the Queen mansion, Oliver and Felicity side by side, Moira and Walter on the opposite couch for moral support. The detective had laughed at Oliver's 'crazy' story about a man in a green hood. Felicity had been running her fingers over the bandages on her wrists absentmindedly when he turned to her.

"What about you, sweetheart? Did you see a man in a green hood?" He said, raising his bushy eyebrows, doubting Oliver's story without a word.

Felicity shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I was out the whole time."

"Alright." Lance sighed, standing up. "You just rest up okay?" He said to her, ignoring Oliver before turning around to leave.

"Detective?!" Oliver called out, pushing himself off the couch.

The man stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder.

"For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about Sara."

Lance harrumphed, shook his head and was out the door. Moira and Walter were quick to follow, muttering something about a job interview they needed to attend. Normally, that would catch Felicity's attention, because what kind of a job was so important that it needed both a former-CEO's and current-CEO's attention? But, today she'd been zoning out a lot, still pretty rattled after the abduction.

"Well that wasn't awkward at all." She murmured as the silence between her and Oliver stretched on.

Oliver clasped his hands together, forearms leaning on his knees. "Does he hate me?"

They both knew exactly who he was talking about without even saying his name. Felicity drifted out of her fuzzy state. The question seemed to wake up her brain, call it into action. She turned to look at her best friend. His jaw was clenched, the lines on his face more pronounced.

"He has no reason to, it wasn't your fault the Gambit went down." Felicity said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I couldn't save her." He sighed in resignation, running his hands over his face.

It felt like her heart shattered into a million pieces at his confession. She knew there wasn't anything he could have done to save Sara. She had to believe that. The Oliver she lost would have done anything to save her, even risk his own life. Deep down she knew he was different now, he'd changed. A lot. She could feel it. See it in the way his shoulders were always tense, back rigid and face stoic. She didn't need to be a psychologist for that. Truthfully, it had only been two days since their reunion, but she'd always been able to read him like an open book. Scooting a little closer to his side, She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, trying to be there for him as much as she could, and maybe console hers inner demons too.

"What about Laurel? Is she doing okay?" Oliver asked quietly.

Felicity nodded into his shoulder. "Yeah. I mean, it was hard at first, she lost her sister, but with time she started to accept that there wasn't anything she could have done. She blamed herself more than you, or me, even though I was the one to suggest Sara go with you to China."

She sighed and lifted her head off of Oliver's shoulder. He turned to look at her, sad blue eyes meeting hers. Smiling softly, she squeezed his arm.

"She's doing well. Went to law school and she's in a steady relationship. In fact, Tommy invited us to a surprise party for her birthday tonight."

"Tommy?" Oliver asked. She knew what he was asking, if it was the same Tommy he had befriended all those years ago.

Felicity nodded. "Tommy Smoak."

He smiled a little at the memory of his friend from college. "That's wonderful. I'm glad they're happy."

Felicity squeezed his shoulder and smiled at him. They sat like that for a while in comfortable silence, both unsure of what to say next. The distance and hesitation between the two of them was obvious. They loved each other, but they couldn't just pretend those five years hadn't happened and go back to the way they were. It was awkward and difficult, because they both wanted to be with the other so badly, it was like not being able to breathe without having the other close. It had always been that way.

"So, where's this party?" Oliver asked after a while.

"In that building with the giant globe hanging from the ceiling on 42nd and Park."

Oliver raised an eyebrow. 42nd and Park, right across from Adam Hunt. He couldn't have planned it better himself.

"Oh, Right! So sorry, you have no idea what I'm talking about, it was built two years ago. You'll know when you see it." Felicity blushed, putting a hand against her forehead in embarrassment. Oliver chuckled and shook his head a little.

"It's okay." He murmured, smiling at her.

Felicity looked at her watch and winced. "Being questioned by the police has been really fun, but I really should get going if I wanna make it to the party in time."

Nodding, Oliver stood up from the couch, extending his hand to help her up. Her sprained ankle was still a little bit wobbly, especially in the heels she was wearing. She had assured him it was fine, blabbering on about how if she wouldn't be wearing heels she would be absolutely tiny next to his seemingly taller, wide-shouldered, even more Greek god-like, statuesque build. She blushed bright red after that one.

"Let me drive you home?" He asked.

Felicity smiled and nodded. "I would like that."

He offered her his arm after Raisa handed her her coat and purse. She gladly took it, her hand resting in the crook of his elbow much like the night before. As they walked out of the house, they were stopped by Moira and Walter.

"Oliver! Felicity! Hold on a moment." Moira called. "I wanna introduce you to someone."

Turning around, Oliver put his hand over Felicity's, subconsciously making sure that she wouldn't let go, that she would stay by his side.

"John Diggle." His mother said with a soft smile, putting a hand on his upper arm.

"He will be accompanying you from now on."

Oliver froze for a second, his eyebrows flying up into his hairline. "Mom, I don't need a babysitter." He said laughingly.

"Darling," Walter came to stand next to his wife, a hand on her lower back. "Oliver is a grown man, if he feels he doesn't need armed protection, we should…"

"No, I understand." Moira said, cutting off her husband. Oliver peered over his mother's shoulder to look at the imposing man that would be his bodyguard. Moira's voice softened, but only her children knew that meant she wasn't asking them if they were okay with it, but sternly demanding they do what she say.

"But this is something that I need." She said, blue eyes holding Oliver's gaze.

And that's how Oliver ended up with a bodyguard he really didn't need. Instead of driving with his regular driver Joe, he and Felicity sat in the back of the Bentley in silence as Mr. Diggle drove them to her apartment.

"Alright. I'll see you tonight, then." Felicity said with a smile when the car came to a stop in front of her building. "Please try to be on time."

Oliver rolled his eyes "I am always…"he trailed off when he saw the smirk on her face.

"Despite being drugged and abducted, I had a really nice time last night." Felicity whispered, taking his hand. Oliver smiled softly and squeezed her hand a little in return.

"I did too." He murmured.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mr. Diggle get out of the car to open Felicity's door for her.

"I'll have Joe bring your car around." Oliver said.

"Thank you." She replied, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek just as Mr. Diggle pulled open the car door. She got out, thanking him before turning around in her heels, sending a quick wave to Oliver. Then she disappeared into her apartment building. Mr. Diggle shut the door with a thud and got back into the front seat.

"Nice girl." He said as he revved up the engine. "You've known her for a long time?"

Oliver squinted at him through the rearview mirror. He'd heard the hidden meaning behind the his words. He was trying to see what Oliver was made of, if he had even slightly changed since he'd come back from the island. If he had managed to get a girl into bed after two days of being home. If admonished playboy Ollie Queen was actually in there, somewhere, or if there was more to him than booze and boobs like the media liked to portray him. Even now.

"Almost twenty years. She's my best friend." He replied with a tilt of his head before moving his gaze out of the window, looking at his city from behind the bullet-proof glass.

"Speaking of Felicity." Oliver started. "I want her protected."

"You are my priority sir." Mr. Diggle said simply.

Oliver scoffed. "I survived five years on a deserted island. I can protect myself. She can't and I want her safe. Whenever she's with me, she's your priority, is that clear?"

"Crystal." Mr. Diggle replied, exasperation evident in his tone.

"So? What do I call you?" Oliver asked, putting his hand on the door handle, scooting a little closer to the side.

"Diggle's good. Dig if you want."

"Are you ex-military?" He asked before pushing open the door.

"Yes, sir. Three tours in Afghanistan. I've been working in the private…." He didn't hear the rest of the sentence after dropping out of the car and kicking the door shut again. He rolled onto his chest and got to his feet as quickly as he could, sprinting to the sidewalk and leaping over a fence. He really didn't have time for being babysat. He had wrongs to right.

* * *

Later that night, with Laurel's party in full swing, the birthday girl dancing like crazy in the middle of the dance floor, Felicity couldn't help searching the crowd, searching for Oliver. She sipped her cocktail, looking down at her phone to check the time when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Shouldn't you be having fun instead of sulking by the bar?" Tommy asked.

Felicity let out a breathy laugh. "Shouldn't you be proposing to your girlfriend instead of sulking by the bar with me?"

Shaking his head, Tommy leaned over the bar and ordered a beer. "She's pretty drunk, It's probably better if I wait."

Felicity hummed in agreement, taking another sip of her cocktail. Tommy leaned back against the bar, fresh beer in his hand. Originally, Tommy's plan was to propose after Laurel graduated from Law School. That plan went down the drain when the news of Oliver's return had surfaced that night. Then, Laurel had been so swamped with work that it didn't seem possible to take her out for a nice dinner or do something special. Felicity was sad to know that It wasn't happening today either. Now that Laurel finally wasn't stressing about work, she was not stressing a little too much, with a little bit too much alcohol.

"So who are you waiting for?" He asked.

She shot him a glance and he nodded understandably. "I knew it."

Felicity put her phone away and turned towards her friend. She sighed softly, putting down her drink on the bar.

'It's weird…He's been back home for three days and I already can't do without him."

Tommy shook his head, putting a hand on Felicity's shoulder and leaning in close. "That's not weird. That's love."

With one last smile aimed in her direction, he melted into the crowd of moving bodies. Felicity watched him wrap an arm around Laurel's waist, who turned around in surprise. She squealed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing him passionately. Felicity smiled to herself, for her friends being so happy together. Tommy hadn't been wrong. She did love Oliver, much more than she'd care to admit but those five years weighed heavy on her chest, made something so uncomplicated seem so intricate. She looked at the time again: 10:30 PM. It wasn't unusual to start a night out that late, especially not considering their teenage years, but still, she worried that he wasn't going to make it.

The sigh of relief she let out when she finally saw him walking into the room –suit all neat, jaw all scruff and his tan skin– should have washed away all her doubts. She smiled at him from across the room and he made his way over.

"Sorry I'm late." He said when he reached her side, pressing his lips to her cheek.

"This time it was Thea who didn't have anything to wear." He grinned.

Felicity chuckled and shook her head a little. She spotted Thea pulling some of the friends that were tagging along onto the dance floor.

"You're forgiven." She said into his ear, loud enough to be heard above the pounding music.

Smiling, Oliver held out his hand to her. "Wanna go dance?"

She watched him for a moment, staring into his eyes, trying to decipher what was hiding behind the familiar blue. "I thought you didn't dance?"

He smirked at her "I'm willing to make an exception for you."

Laughing, she let him lead her onto the dancefloor. Her worries eased off of her body with the beat of the pulsing music and Oliver's hands on her hips. The party continued into the wee hours of the night. There was laughter, alcohol and a lot of calorie-burning dancing. When it was time to go home, Oliver dropped her off at her apartment, a snoring Thea resting on his shoulder.

The next morning, Adam Hunt getting attacked by the man in the green hood that had saved their lives the day before was all over the news.

* * *

 

 _ **Outfits:**_ [Oliver and Felicity at dinner](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=179096574), [Laurel, Tommy and Thea at the Party](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=179096682), [Oliver and Felicity at the party](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=179096763)


	3. Distance

_ _

_The sun is filling up the room_  
_And I can hear you dreaming_  
_Do you feel the way I do right now?_  
_I wish we would just give up_  
_Cause the best part is falling_  
_Call it anything but love_  
  
_And I will make sure to keep my distance_  
_Say, "I love you," when you're not listening_  
_And how long can we keep this up, up, up?_  
  
_Please don't stand so close to me_  
_I'm having trouble breathing_  
_I'm afraid of what you'll see right now_  
_I give you everything I am_  
_All my broken heart beats_  
_Until I know you'll understand_  
  
_And I will make sure to keep my distance_  
_Say, "I love you," when you're not listening_  
_And how long can we keep this up, up, up?_

* * *

 

The press gathered on the front steps of the Starling City Courthouse was practically buzzing with anticipation. Oliver Queen's legal resurrection was big news. With Mr. Diggle clearing the path for them, and Felicity's hand in his it was almost bearable. The flashbulbs going off and the questions being yelled at him made his head spin, his only focus on the grand doors leading into the courthouse. Once they were in there, they were safe. He'd always hated being swarmed like this, but now, he felt like he couldn't move, couldn't breathe, especially without his bow in his hand. His fingers ached to melt around the metal grip, the heavy weight familiar to his arms.

Oliver closed his eyes for a second, letting Felicity lead him. Her hand came to rest on his forearm and he opened his eyes again to look at her. She smiled encouragingly, a wave of relief washing over him and they made their way up the steps.

"You ready?" She asked once they were safely inside, the courthouse's safety personnel keeping the press outside.

He smiled weakly at her. "As I'll ever be."

* * *

 

"There was a storm." Oliver said, swallowing down the lump in his throat, the memory of the accident still too vivid.

"The boat went under. I was the only survivor. My father and Sara didn't make it."

As he spoke, Felicity tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, blinking away her tears. Sara, Robert, they were gone, and even though she was so happy that Oliver had found his way back, she still missed them every day.

"I almost died. I thought I had because I spent so many days on that life raft before I saw the island." Oliver's voice turned softer, hands clenched at his sides. "And when I reached it, I knew. I knew that I was going to have to live for all of us. And in those five years it was that one thought that kept me going."

It was hard hearing him talk about the year's he'd been gone, harder than she'd imagined. Moira was quietly sniffling next to her when Oliver told the judge that his father didn't make it onto the life raft. Felicity reached for Moira's hand, which earned her a small watery smile.

Oliver himself clearly wasn't having the most awesome time either. His shoulders were tense, jaw set tightly as he spoke and he nervously rubbed his fingers together at his side. She saw him visibly relax as his lawyer took over. She explained to the jury that they would like to have Oliver's death in absentia rescinded and that, unfortunately the Queen family would not be petitioning to do the same with Robert's.

While she was speaking, Oliver looked at Felicity over his shoulder. She wanted to reassure him that everything was okay, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to hide her red-rimmed eyes.

* * *

 

"Now onto the offices." Moira said as they were walking down the stairs in the main hall of the courthouse. "Everyone is waiting to meet you there."

"Uh.. mom?" Oliver stopped her, putting his hand on her arm. "That was…uhm…a little bit heavier than I was expecting. Could we do that tomorrow?"

Moira's gaze moved from her son to Felicity, who shrugged. "I know Oliver desperately wants to see my pretty swanky office, but it'll still be there tomorrow." She teased.

Oliver raised an eyebrow at her. "Funny."

Smiling innocently, Felicity chuckled, squeezing his arm a little. Moira sighed and nodded. "Alright, dear. Tomorrow then."

The pent up tenseness seemed to slip off of his shoulders. "Thank you."

Smiling softly, Moira put a hand on her sons shoulder. "Well, Walter and I have a meeting to attend so we'll see you at home."

"Okay." Oliver replied, a tiny smile on his lips.

They watched Walter and Moira descend the remaining steps when Oliver turned to her. "Shouldn't you go with them?" He asked.

"Nah, I took the day off to be here for you." She said with a hint of mischief hiding behind her eyes.

Oliver let out a breathy chuckle, leading her down the rest of the stairs. "Thank you."

They headed down the long hallway leading to the entrance of the courthouse. People with briefcases filled most of the space, rushing to meetings, stacks of papers and files and evidence in their hands, a cop here and there and a guy flanked by security personnel who must have been thinking 'murder' while he walked down that hallway. He dominated the space with his presence and death-glare, forcing people out of their way to walk around him and his posse. Felicity squinted her eyes to get a better look at the man in the badly-lit hallway. He seemed familiar, like she'd seen him on TV recently or something.

«Мудак»* Oliver muttered under his breath when one of the flanking men bumped into Felicity. She stared up at him curiously, the 'murder'-man drifting to the back of her mind, her concern for Oliver and her questions about what he'd been through bubbling to the surface.

She bit her tongue, this wasn't the time nor the place. They rounded a corner and if it wasn't for Oliver's steadying hand flying out in front of her she would have collided with the person on the other side of the bend.

"Laurel?" Felicity asked when she realized who they'd almost crashed into.

The other woman looked up from her file to the sound of her name being called, smiling friendly when she saw Felicity. "Felicity! Hi!"

"What are you doing here?" Felicity asked.

Laurel laughed a little. "My job."

Joanna, Laurel's colleague from CNRI nudged her with her shoulder. "More like the DA's job."

Felicity shook her head a little and chuckled. "I mean, of course, stupid question."

A friendly smile made its way onto Laurel's face. She chuckled. "What about you two? You aren't secretly getting married are you? Because I would be very upset if I didn't get to be a bridesmaid."

Felicity laughed nervously and she could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks. She shook her head. "Uhm… no…of course not.. that'd be.."

"I was getting resurrected, legally speaking." Oliver interjected, saving her from mortification.

"Ah! Well, congratulations are in order then."

"Thank you." Oliver said with a soft smile.

Laurel returned the smile and looked down at the files in her arms. "Anyways, we should get to the courtroom, justice isn't going to serve itself."

"Good luck in there." Felicity said, putting a hand on Laurel's shoulder.

She smiled gently and nodded. "Thank you. It was nice seeing you both."

"We're still on for movie night tonight right?" Felicity asked before Laurel could get past them.

"Yes of course! Wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

 

Once they were in through the swarm of camera and microphone handling vultures and safely in the care behind the tinted glass, Oliver sighed.

"She's going after Martin Somers." He said quietly, tugging the sleeve of his shirt out from under his jacket.

Felicity was quiet for a moment, looking out the window at the imposing courthouse building. "I thought I'd recognized that man in the hallway."

Oliver's jaw tensed up, hand flexing against his thigh. "I want you to be careful. Especially when you're with Laurel." He muttered as Mr. Diggle revved up the engine. Felicity turned to look at him, frowning in confusion.

"Oliver? What are you talking about." She asked, putting a hand on his arm, searching out his gaze. Swallowing, Oliver ducked his head before meeting her eyes.

"Somers is part of the worst of Starling City. He had a man killed who stood in his way and he will do it again. I don't want that to be you. Or Laurel." The look in his eyes made it clear that he was very serious about this.

"Promise me you'll be careful. I can't lose you, Felicity." He whispered, gaze softening. She gulped, unable to tear her eyes from his as she nodded slowly. His hand tightened around hers as they drove through the city.

Felicity nodded. "I promise."

* * *

 

Later that day after Felicity had gone home Oliver was watching the news for an update on Martin Somers. He was changing into something more comfortable, something less conspicuous than a man in an Armani suit walking through the Glades at night.

"How did you get those?!"

For a split-second he'd let his guard down. Just a moment he hadn't been on alert mode. He hadn't heard Thea come in as he was putting his shirt on. He groaned, trying to play it off as annoyance at her instead of disappointment in himself for not paying attention resulting in his little sister seeing the horrible scars his torso was littered with.

"Don't you knock?" He bit back at her.

Thea hurried over to him, hands tugging on his shirt before he could close it to hide the scars.

"Whoa…wait. Mom said there were scars…" She trailed off as she pulled the shirt open, the words getting stuck in her throat as she stared at the puckered ridges and patches on his skin. Her blue eyes went wide, mouth hanging open slightly.

"Uhm… I…" She stammered, swallowing hard before looking back up at her brother. "What happened to you on that island?"

Oliver took a deep breath, avoiding her gaze as he pulled the fabric from her fingers and started closing the buttons of his shirt.

"I don't wanna talk about it." He whispered, voice two or three octaves lower than usual.

Thea let out an exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes. "Of course not. You never wanna talk to me about anything. You only wanna judge me about who I hang out with."

"Where are you going?" Oliver asked as she stepped away, turning around with a flip of her hair.

"Why should I tell you?" She replied coldly, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sighing, Oliver walked over to her, putting a hand on her elbow as she scowled at him. "I'm sorry, Thea. I need to get better at talking about what happened to me there…"

He took a deep breath. "But I'm not ready yet, okay?"

Pursing her lips, Thea nodded and sighed. "Do you have a second? I wanna show you something."

Oliver grabbed his jacket and let her lead him out to the backyard, to a secluded little meadow. He remembered the place, spent there a lot of time thinking. It had been where he lied to Felicity about having feelings for her all those years ago. He was so stupid sometimes.

"Sometimes, when I felt... whatever... I'd come here." Thea said, gesturing to the two giant marble headstones. One for him. One for his father. She reached down to brush some leaves off the moulding.

"About a month after the funerals, mom stopped going out. Pretty soon, she stopped talking altogether. The house got so quiet, so I'd come here." She turned to him with an expression of anger and disappointment and sorrow all mixed together. "To talk to you."

Shaking her head, she let out a breathy laugh. "I mean, stupid stuff. Like what I was doing that day, what boy I had a crush on." She sighed, the words getting stuck in her throat for a minute. He could see the wetness in her eyes that she was so desperate to hide "And then sometimes, I'd ask you, beg you, to find your way home to me."

She scoffed, blinking away the tears. "Now, here you are. And the truth is, I felt closer to you when you were dead."

Oliver felt like he got kicked in the gut, twice. His sister had gone through so much and at such a young age. In his own trauma processing he hadn't even thought about that.

"Look, I know it was hell where you were. But it was hell here too."

Oliver reached for her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Thea. I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I made. I'm your brother and I don't want to see you get hurt. I remember you as a gangly twelve year-old who loved horseback-riding and Disney Channel. I need to get used to you all grown up." He said with a soft smile.

Thea nodded. "I understand, but you gotta let me in, Ollie."

"You gotta let someone in."

* * *

 

Despite knowing that it was probably unnecessary, Oliver found himself on Felicity's fire escape that night. He told himself it was because he knew Martin Somers had instructed the Chinese triad to target Laurel, but deep inside he knew it was because Felicity hanging out with Laurel put her in the line of fire.

The smell of popcorn reached his nose, even through the window, the buttery goodness reminding him of days long ago. It was cold as he was huddled in the shadows, the October nights in Starling City almost as cold as Lian Yu. He'd grown accustomed to it, used it to stay focused.

The sound of laughter drifted through Felicity's apartment and he couldn't help but smile. She was happy. And that made him happy. He could make out his name in the jumble of words Felicity was speaking in record speed. He focused as hard as he could on her words, but even his trained ear wasn't sure if Felicity was really saying that she was still in love with him.

* * *

 

Laurel was in the kitchen, getting them more wine when the doorbell rang. Felicity got off the couch, straightened her top and walked into the hall. She glanced to the peephole and frowned. Something was off, she could feel it in her gut. She pushed off the door and walked into the kitchen.

"Did you order Chinese food?" She asked Laurel, who shook her head.

"No, why?"

"There's a lady at the door with a bag from the Jade Dragon."

Laurel stiffened, putting the bottle of wine she was holding back on the counter. She reached for Felicity's arm, and walked her back into the living room, away from the front door.

"We have to hide." She whispered, gesturing to Felicity's bedroom.

"What? Why?!" Felicity hissed under her breath.

The sound of splintering wood was reason enough. A knife embedded itself in the fireplace mere inches from Felicity's head. She yelped, adrenaline kicking in as she pulled the knife out of the wood and threw at it the white-haired woman stalking towards them. She caught it and they made a run for the bedroom. Shattering glass made Felicity pause in the doorway, her breath getting stuck in her throat as she saw the hooded figure that had burst through her window. Laurel pulled her inside, kicking the door shut behind them.

"Jade Dragon is a front for the Chinese triad!" Laurel yelled, frightened tears in her eyes.

Felicity took a few breaths to steady herself, her head reeling from adrenaline and the new information. She grabbed her baseball bat from beside her nightstand and positioned herself between Laurel and the door.

"Call your dad." She instructed Laurel, keeping her position until the sounds of fighting stopped. Her apartment turned dead quiet, except for the police sirens getting louder and louder as they got closer.

Carefully, Felicity peeked into her living room, expecting to find a body. There was nothing there except the place being completely trashed.

* * *

 

"Oliver!" He heard her cry before he saw her. He turned towards her voice. She was wrapped in a blanket against the cold rushing in through the window he'd broken only a few hours earlier. He pushed through the cops collecting evidence, wrapping his arms tightly around her trembling body, his face pressed into her hair. Over her shoulder, she saw Laurel arguing with her father, Tommy awkwardly standing to the side.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He asked, cupping her face.

Felicity shook her head, reaching for his forearm. "No, just a little shaken. That hooded guy actually saved us."

She put her hand on his heaving chest. "You're all out of breath, did you run a marathon before you got here?"

"Ran up the stairs, the elevator was taking too long."

Felicity frowned. "Oliver… We're on the eighteenth floor."

He let out a deep breath and looked her straight in the eye. "I know."

Her expression softened and she wrapped her arms around him again. He didn't need to say it out loud for her to know exactly how much he cared about her. He held her tight as he thought about how angry he'd been when he'd burst through that window earlier. His moves fueled by rage instead of technique. That was how China White had been able to escape. The constant thought of Felicity just in the other room, probably scared to death, was a distraction. Felicity was a distraction, but he couldn't find it in himself to do anything about it. She was a part of him. The only part that hadn't been touched by darkness.

* * *

 

The following morning during the drive to Queen Consolidated, the news of Martin Somers' confession was blasted across every radio station.

"As you can see, we've modernized quite a bit." Walter said as the elevator doors opened on the executive level. Oliver whistled in appreciation, offering his mother his arm.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Moira asked with a small chuckle.

"Yes I am." He said, looking up at the high ceilings and out the window at the impressive view.

Walter opened the door to an office. An office that he'd been in before. One that he'd snuck into, late at night. He glanced around, the picture of him and his father that Felicity had been talking too was still there. He couldn't help but smile a little.

"I remember when your father used to bring you here when you were a boy." Walter said. "You always were so excited."

"Dad let me drink soda in the office." He replied, absentmindedly running his fingers over the expensive looking mahogany desk.

"Ah! So that's why you enjoyed coming here so much." Moira interjected

Oliver smiled at his mother and looked around the office once again.

"Queen Consolidated's success as of late is a result of its targeted diversification. We have been making impressive inroads in cutting-edge fields like bio-tech and clean energy." Walter started explaining.

"That's neat." Oliver interrupted him, turning to Walter's secretary just outside the glass walls. "Excuse me? Can I get a sparkling water, or something cold, please?"

His mother put a hand on his forearm, getting him to stay focused on the conversation at hand. "Sweetheart, Oliver, Walter and I have something to discuss with you."

She gestured to the chairs circling a coffee table. "Come, please sit."

"Mom, it makes me nervous when you ask me to sit down." Oliver said curtly. This playful, careless, playboy act was exactly that. An act. He knew exactly what his mother was planning for his near future and he wasn't having it.

"Alright." Moira said softly, holding up her hands in defeat.

"The company's about to break ground on a new site for the applied sciences division, and we would like to honor your father by dedicating the building in his name." Walter explained.

"Nice." Oliver said with a smile.

"And…" Moira started. "We'd like to make an announcement at the dedication that you will be taking a leadership position in the company."

He let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. "No."

Moira held up her hand "No, no, your company." She said as she stepped closer to her son.

Oliver shook his head again, eyebrows knitting together. "No, I don't want to lead anything. Besides, Walter is doing a very good job here."

Sighing, Moira tilted her head to the side. "Oliver, you said that you wanted to be a different person. And you are Robert Queen's son."

"I don't need to be reminded of that." Oliver cut her off.

"Well, obviously you do." Moira bit back, throwing her hands up in desperation.

"Everyone here understands that this transition is really difficult for you." Walter said calmly.

Oliver's gaze moved away from his mother. "Thank you, Walter."

He then pursed his lips and shook his head.

"Which part, though? Everyone fantasizing that I got my MBA while I was on the island? Or the fact that Thea barely remembers anything about me except my mistakes? That the love of my life can't look at me without crushing guilt in her eyes that she got to live her life when I was trying to survive on that island? Or maybe that my nightmares about the godforsaken place are so vivid that I almost killed my own mother in my sleep?!" He was yelling now, and for once, not holding anything back.

Moira's face fell, a hand coming up over her mouth as she bit back tears.

"I'm sorry mom. I can't do this." He whispered, his voice roughed by his explosion.

He looked down at the floor and walked out of the office. When he was back in the car, Mr. Diggle next to him, he called Felicity.

* * *

 

"I'm not gonna take the position at Queen Consolidated." Oliver said softly as they watched the workers dig up his headstone from a distance.

"I know. I never thought you would." Felicity replied, tightening her arm around his waist a little.

Oliver frowned and looked down at her. "Why not?"

She let out a short laugh. "Well, even if you did magically get your MBA while you were away, you never wanted it, your father did."

Sighing, Oliver squeezed her shoulder. "You know me too well."

Felicity chuckled. "That.." She tapped his shoulder. "Is actually true."

A small smile made its way onto his lips. "Thea told me I needed to open up to someone about what happened while I was away."

Felicity looked up at him curiously. It was evident in her eyes that she was hoping that he was going to open up to her. He couldn't blame her. She was the one who knew the most already, and would probably understand best some of the sacrifices he had to make. He'd come to her three years ago, and she was right to assume she would be the one he would go to now. He would always go to her. He loved her, no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself and keep her at arm's length.

"I was hoping you'd be that person."

* * *

 

_*asshole_

* * *

 

 **Outfits:** [Oliver and Felicity at the courthouse](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?.locale=nl&id=180447333), [Laurel and Felicity's movie night](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?.locale=nl&id=180449752)


	4. Nocturnal

_Street lights, turn on one by one_  
_My hope is, descending like the sun_  
_Try to tell myself there's freedom in the loneliness (Oh baby)_  
_Always restless, story of my life_  
_Disconnected, body clock's not right_  
_Try to tell myself that I'mma get some sleep tonight_

 _Found myself where I started, this isn't where I want to be_  
_The time that I find hardest, always comes eventually_

 _My shadow doesn't show in the dark_  
_The night time is inclined to my heart_  
_The emptiness I felt from the start_  
_Will follow me 'till I fall apart_

_Nocturnal, nocturnal, nocturnal, nocturnal_

_My demons are blocking out the light_  
_And my mind is about to lose the fight_  
_Why can't I find peace, when a caracal could sleep tonight? (Yeah)_  
_Your absence isn't something that I choose (choose, choose choose)_  
_The truth is you were never mine to lose (lose, lose, lose)_  
_Said that I feel lifeless, tryna get away from you (Oh baby, oh)_

* * *

 

Oliver clenched his jaw as he poked the needle through his skin once more. He was almost done stitching up the bullet wound but neither practice or experiencing pain before helped making it less than awful. He himself was the reason behind a lot of his smaller scars. Sloppy handiwork. It didn’t need to look pretty, it needed to stop bleeding. Priorities.

When he was done, he got back to his makeshift desk and grabbed his father’s notebook, taking a pen and striking another name off the list. James Holder’s bloody and broken body floating in a pool while he was being shot at from a hundred yards away wasn’t exactly how he’d wanted to end the night, but there was no going back.

He needed more intel on the shooter, but the bullet he’d pulled out of himself had no significant trademarks that he could run through the ARGUS database that Amanda had, reluctantly, given him access to.

A sudden dizziness hit him, hard, his first thought going to his wound. It was bleeding through his bandaging and his t-shirt. Poison. Out of balance, and with his sight turning blurry and black spots popping up before his eyes, he managed to grab a water bottle and scramble to his trunk. Unlocking it took two tries, and then he frantically searched for Yao Fei’s magic herbs. He downed them quickly, chewing to release the potent they held and swallowing them with the water. His hands steadied as he let his back hit the cool concrete of the foundry floor and passed out.

Hours later, he woke up to his phone buzzing. Twenty two missed calls and a dozen text messages all saying the same thing: Where are you? Thea is in trouble. Come home!

The fact that he wasn’t dead was at least one less problem he had to deal with, his little sister was another story.

* * *

 

As soon as he set foot in the house, Felicity was right there, pulling him into his father’s old study. “Where the hell have you been all night?” She demanded.

“I uhh…” He started, looking down at his feet. “I couldn’t sleep, went for a walk.”

Felicity quirked an eyebrow at him in disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

“Oliver, you’ve been radio silent for ten hours.”

He bit his tongue as she stepped into his personal space. “I needed some time to think.”

It was obvious she didn’t believe him, but the soft sigh she let out told him she would let him off the hook. For now. She pushed her fingers through her hair and shook her head.

“Anyway, the cops found Thea and her friends breaking into a store, trying on some dresses. The breathalyzer lit up like a Christmas tree.”

“Thea okay?” He asked.

Felicity nodded. “She’s fine except for what I imagine to be a massive hangover.”

“I don’t know what’s gotten into her. Ever since you’ve been back she’s been acting out, getting into trouble. Could you maybe talk to her? See what’s going on inside her head.”

Oliver shook his head. “I’m sorry, I tried. She won’t listen to me. She thinks I’m judging her based on the people she hangs out with, but I’m just trying to protect her from making the same mistakes I made.”

Felicity nodded. “I just don’t want her to get hurt. She’s been through so much already.”

Oliver stepped closer and put his hands on her upper arms. “Thank you, Felicity. For looking out for her. She needs a good role-model like you in her life.”

Blushing a little, Felicity smiled up at him, hand on his chest. “Are you ever gonna tell me?”

He sighed, looking away from her, staring off over her head. She knew he was hiding something from her, and even though he’d promised she’d be the one to open up to, he still had to have some secrets. To protect her. Oliver had told her many things already. His time on the island with Yao Fei, Slade and Shado, Fyers and Ivo and his men. He’d told her about Hong Kong and Akio and how the safety of Maseo’s family had been the reason he’d kidnapped her. He’d explained how it had been a choice between that and her death and how easily that choice had been made. She cried for a long time after that.

He told her about his return to Lian Yu and the opium fields and his time in Coast City and Russia. He left Sara, the Bratva and ARGUS out of the story, and it may not have been as explicitly told as the pain he’d felt when he had been tortured and beaten down, but she knew the important parts. He knew he was going to need a solid alibi sooner rather than later. It would only be a matter of time before Felicity would put one and one together. Sighing softly, he looked back at her.

“Once I figure it out for myself, okay?” He whispered.

Felicity looked at him for a long moment and he could see her wracking her brain behind her eyes, considering his words.

“Okay.” She whispered after a while. She stepped away from him, jerking her head in the direction of the door.

“I have to go to work. I’ll see you later, okay?” Felicity said quietly, looking away.

“Felicity?” Oliver said before she could walk away.

She turned around, finally meeting his gaze again. “Can you meet me tonight? There’s something I wanna show you.”

A small smile appeared on her lips. “Sure.”

Oliver mirrored her smile. “Great.”

And then she was gone. Oliver took a moment to collect himself before walking into the living room. Moira and Walter were just finishing up their conversation with the officers who brought Thea home.

“Thank you, officers.” Walter said. “My wife and I appreciate it. I'll see you out.”

Moira turned around to look at her teenage daughter who sat on the couch looking bored and picking at her nails. Oliver remembered being the one sitting on that couch after getting home after long drunken nights that ended with law enforcement being involved.

“Last time it was public intoxication. This time breaking and entering. My, how we are moving up in the criminal world.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Thea stood up, meeting her mother with the defiant attitude she’d taken a liking to “You know, when you pay off the store owner, you should check out the merchandise.”

She mimicked Moira’s stance, arms crossing over her chest. “They got some pretty killer outfits.”

“Thea, go get ready for school.”

Her face contorted in disgust. “Uh, you know, I was actually thinking of taking a sick day.”

Moira sighed. “Fine, then get some sleep.”

Thea smirked in victory and sauntered out of the room.

“You look like crap.” She said to Oliver as she passed by him.

“You're letting her play hooky?” Oliver demanded when Thea was out of earshot, walking over to where his mother was still standing.

Moira sighed and shook her head. “When your sister gets like this, it's best to give her her space.”

“She's testing you.” He said, his voice getting louder.

“Yes.” Moira said curtly. “And who'd she learn that from?”

Oliver's jaw tightened. She was right. He hadn't exactly been the brother Thea should look up to. She needed a good role model and he'd been lacking the skill. He was gonna change that, give her an example to live up to, show her that there is more to life than booze and drugs, and he knew exactly how he was going to do it.

* * *

“So what do you think? Great spot for a restaurant or what?” 

“Wow, this place is huge. Lots of potential.” She said, looking around the giant empty factory hall.

Oliver pointed to a second landing in the distance. “Private office.”

Felicity chuckled. “Nice.”

He narrowed his eyes, turning back around to look at her. “But what? I feel like there’s a but coming…” Oliver said, eyebrows knitting together in concern.

“Are you sure you want to do this? It's not like you really have any experience in running a well, running anything.”

Oliver nodded. He knew that would be coming. Even though the restaurant would only be a front for what he would be really spending his time with, he was actually starting to get excited about the prospect of possibly making the Glades a better place the legal way. Provide jobs and positive buzz, gentrifying the neighborhood by making it a successful business. One that provided him an alibi.

“I was thinking I’d take you to dinner tonight to get you excited, and maybe check out the competition?” Oliver said softly, stepping into her personal space, snaking a hand around her waist and putting it on the small of her back. Felicity’s tongue darted out to wet her lips. He was making her nervous. He hadn’t been this forward with her since he’d returned but there was no denying he loved her.  

“I heard Max Fuller just opened a new restaurant downtown. It’s called Serenade.” He whispered.

Felicity looked up at him through hooded eyes. They were so close.

“It’s a date.” She breathed.

* * *

“I love Max, he’s a great friend and he and Charlotte are just the cutest couple…” Felicity said, putting her fork back down on the table and making a face. “But his food is terrible.”

Oliver laughed out loud, a sound she hadn’t heard in a long while and it made her crave for more. Felicity toyed with her food some more before reaching for her glass of wine and taking a big gulp.

“His servings are way too small, this flimsy little thing is never going to still my hunger. And for such tiny servings you’d expect them to be mind-blowingly amazing, but they’re so mediocre it hurts.”

Oliver stared at her curiously, clearly amused at her display of distaste. He hadn’t eaten much either. She tried to imagine what he must be thinking at the strange culinary hype of putting as little on a plate as possible. How living off whatever he could find on that island would put petty things like that into perspective.

“Sorry Max, but culinary justice must be served. That’s going to be one hell of a yelp review.” She muttered under her breath.

Oliver suddenly sat up straight, reaching for her hand. “Felicity Merlyn. Please be my gastronomical advisor so I  can make sure I serve my customers actual food.”

“I will. I want your business to succeed so I won’t let you feed the people crap.” She chuckled, squeezing his hand.

“Now, can we get the hell out of here, I’m starving.”

He smiled softly and nodded. “As you wish.”

They paid their bill and collected their coats and within ten minutes they were on the road. Felicity had suggested a burger joint pretty close to her apartment where according to her, they sold the best burgers in town. Diggle chuckled in agreement.

* * *

 

“Why don't you guys take a seat, and I will grab a couple of burgers and shakes.” Diggle said, waving at one of the waitresses.

“The girl's pretty cute. Girlfriend?” Felicity asked curiously, wiggling her eyebrows.

Diggle shook his head. “That's my sister in law.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes. “She's not wearing a wedding ring, brother out of the picture?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Diggle said after a long pause and a deep breath before he walked off towards the counter to get their order.  

“So? Have you thought of names yet?” Felicity asked as they sat down in a corner booth.

Oliver shrugged. “I thought of Castaway, but I doubt that vibe would sell well.”

Chuckling, Felicity shook her head. “You’d be the first to sell undercooked fish and leaves to the idle rich of Starling City.”

That got a smile out of him.  “Thank you for being so supportive, Felicity. My mom had doubts and I know you did to, but at least you’re willing to help me succeed.”

Felicity’s face lit up. She reached for his hands that were clasped in front of him on the table.

“You’re welcome. I’m not gonna throw you into the deep and wait until you drown.” She winced at her own words. “Yikes, bad analogy. Sorry.”

Oliver let out a breathy laugh. “It’s okay. Thank you for helping me.”

They stayed like that for a moment, lingering in the feeling of partnership, until Oliver’s phone started ringing and he had to let go to pick up.

«приветствие»* He spoke into the phone, listening for a moment before putting the microphone to his chest and looking back at her.

“Possible contractor. I’ll be back in a minute.” He said, sliding out of the booth and putting the phone back to his ear. Felicity watched his back retreat, clasping and unclasping her hands nervously. Her gaze moved around the diner, settling on Diggle who accepted a tray of food from his sister in law and made his way over to the booth she was sitting in.

He sat down in the spot Oliver had just vacated. “You better tip big, they never get food ready this fast.” He said jokingly.

Felicity smiled weakly  and accepted the burger he handed her.

“I finally realize where I recognize you from.” She said, making Diggle stop what he was doing to look at her. He was frowning in confusion.

She shrugged. “I came here, about five years ago. I think you just came back from your tour, but you were there too. I didn’t realize it until I just saw you interact with Carly.”

“You know her name?” Diggle asked, even more confused.

Felicity let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I come her like every week.”

Diggle chuckled and smiled at her. “You know, I think I remember that day. That was my last tour. I got back home early, didn’t have time to tell Carly so she couldn’t come to the airport. She got so mad at me for that.”

He was quiet for a moment, lips pressed into a thin line. “You looked so sad. What happened back then?”

Felicity sighed, tears prickling behind her eyes. She jerked her head in Oliver’s direction. “His funeral was that day.”

* * *

After burgers and shakes and taking Felicity home, Oliver found himself at the address the Bratva had provided him with. 1700 Broadway, Papp Motel, room 52. He stood in front of the door for a couple seconds, listening to the tapping of the keys on a laptop on the other side. Until they stopped. Deadshot knew he was here. With a swift kick he burst through the door, firing an arrow right at the man. He ducked, sending back a wave of bullet. Oliver stood with his back to wall waiting for his ammo to run out before sending in another two arrows. One flew into a dirty mattress and the other hit the wall after Deadshot jumped out of the window. 

Cursing under his breath, he sprinted over to the broken glass, trying to find the fugitive serial killer. There was no sign of him.

Oliver looked around the room his eyes fell on the laptop. With the police sirens getting closer, he made a snap decision that he already regretted. He’d never be able to access its hard drive by himself. No he needed someone who was excellent with computers to do that. And fortunately, or unfortunately, because he never wanted to involve her in this part of his life, he knew exactly the person for the job.

* * *

“Fe-li-ci-ty Merlyn. Wow! Swanky office.”

Felicity looked up from her paperwork at the sound of the amused, almost arrogant voice she’d recognize anywhere. Oliver Queen in a teasing mood. God, she’d missed that weird but funny side of him. Ever since he’d come home, he’d been so serious and broody. Not that she could blame him.

“I’m sorry, Miss Merlyn, I told him you were busy, but he wouldn’t listen.” Jerry started apologizing, coming up behind Oliver with a tablet in hand, pushing his glasses up his nose in his hurry.

Oliver sauntered around her office, running his hand over the back of the expensive leather chair, staring up at the high ceiling and looking out the window in amazement “And an incredible view.”

Felicity chuckled and rolled her eyes at Oliver, who shrugged. “It’s okay, Jerry. Oliver is just a jerk sometimes.”

With a sigh of relief, the frantic look in Jerry’s eyes faded as he turned around and walked back to his desk.

“Cute secretary.” Oliver said, smirking from ear to ear.

Felicity glared at him. “Are you just here to make my executive assistant feel  self-conscious or do you have a reason for this surprise visit that isn’t going to make me smack the back of your head.”

Oliver let out a breathy laugh. “I do, actually. Although a smack to the head does sound kind of kinky.”

“Oliver! Stop it!” She exclaimed, blush already burning on her cheeks.

“Alright!” He said, holding his hands up in defeat.

That was when she saw the mangled laptop he was holding, a hand flying to her heart.

“Oh my god! What did you do to this poor baby?!” She exclaimed, reaching out to touch the gaping holes in the casing.

Oliver pressed his lips together in a firm line. “I spilled a latté on it?”

Felicity scoffed, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. “Is that a question or are you actually that stupid that you’re trying to convince me these are not bullet holes?”

He shrugged. “It’s not really important where I got it or what happened to it. What’s important is the information on the hard drive and you’re the only one I trust with restoring it.”

Felicity raised an eyebrow at him in confusion. The expression on Oliver’s face had turned from light and open and teasing to serious and stiff in less than a minute. The seriousness of the situation slowly dawned on her as he held the mangled computer out to her. Felicity swallowed, alarm bells ringing loudly in the back of her head, her trust in Oliver actively trying to silence them. She nodded slowly.

“Okay.” She murmured, biting her lip and holding out her hands for the laptop.

It took her exactly ten minutes to bypass the computers firewalls and hack into the hard drive. At a steady rate, the transferred files popped up in the folder she’d created on her own computer. There wasn’t much.

“Looks like blueprints.” Felicity muttered, eyebrows knit together in concentration as she double tapped another file, the dark blue of the file taking up most of her display.

Oliver tore his gaze off the screen to look at her. “Do you know what of?”

She nodded slowly. “The exchange building.” She said, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Never heard of it.” Oliver said, frowning and narrowing his eyes a little.

Felicity’s tongue darted out to wet her lips, taking a breath and looking at Oliver for a second, wondering what the hell was going on both here and in his head. “It's where the Unidac industry's auction is scheduled to take place.”

He was quiet for a while, like he was trying to study the blueprints, remembering every tiniest detail they held. Felicity watched him as he concentrated, worry for him growing by the second.

“Look, Oliver, I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish here, but I don't want to get in the middle of some Shakespearian family drama thing.”

He pulled his gaze away from the monitor, raising an eyebrow at her. “What?”

“Walter marrying your mom?” She explained.

He shook his head a little, still confused.

Felicity sighed. “Claudius, Gertrude, Hamlet?”

“Felicity, I didn't study Shakespeare at any of the schools I dropped out of.” He said.

She rolled her eyes at his frat-boy comment and sighed. “Walter is trying to buy Unidac Industries. And you've got a company laptop associated with one of the guys he's competing against.”

Oliver nodded. “Floyd Lawton.”

Felicity shook her head in confusion. “What? No.”

She pointed at a name in the bottom right corner of her screen. “Warren Patel.”

“Who's Floyd Lawton?” Felicity asked.

Oliver was quiet for a moment until he sighed and shook his head. “He is an employee of Mr. Patel, evidently.”

He was on his feet, striding out of her office before she could say another word. His back was rigid, fists clenched at his sides as he stormed out.

“Whatever you do, do not go to the auction tonight.” He called over his shoulder.

“Oliver!” Felicity called out, jumping out of her chair and hurrying after him on her heels.

“Oliver, wait!” She put a hand on his shoulder and he jerked around so fast she stumbled backwards. She didn’t exactly how to call the expression on his face but it would be reasonable to compare it to an angry thunder cloud. Felicity swallowed hard as she looked into his darkened eyes.

“Oliver.” She said again, this time more hesitantly as he loomed over her. “I trust you, but please tell me. Whatever you’re doing, is it dangerous?”

He was quiet for a long time before he shook his head. “Only if I fail.”

* * *

The Unidac auction that night was a complete disaster. Warren Patel was arrested, but not before he could call off his hitman. The shots rang through the foyer of the exchange building, sending people screaming and glass shattering. Luckily, the Queen family made it out without a scratch. Other’s weren’t so lucky. Five dead, three in the hospital.

Oliver didn’t add the man with an arrow in his eye to the body count. As he stared down at the lifeless form, he heard a soft groan coming from less than fifty yards behind him. Like a ghost, he edged closer, careful not to make a sound. He knocked an arrow as he put his back to a pillar in the abandoned office space, the only noise the broken glass crunching under his boots. He heard a thud and rounded the pillar, aiming at the slumped form in front of him in one swift movement. Diggle. He’d been hit. Lowering his bow, he made a snap decision. He couldn’t let the man die here.

Oliver was suddenly very glad that he’d taken a car to the auction instead of his bike. John Diggle was heavy, even for him. The man consisted of muscle mass and heavy bones and barely fit on the backseat of the Bentley. Even with his legs pulled up.

Oliver somehow managed to get him into his lair –for lack of a better word— without accident. As he lay convulsing on the steel table, Oliver mixed his herbs from the island, pulverizing the leave so it would be easier to swallow.

He poured the mixture into a cup and walked over to Diggle, tilting the man’s head up and putting the cup to his lips. He choke-coughed a couple times but the gooey mixture went down his throat.

After stitching up the bullet wound, All Oliver could do was sit back and wait. He didn’t change out of his gear, there was no use trying to hide his identity anymore, not when Diggle was gonna wake up in the middle of his lair. Again, he really just called it that because he didn’t really have an alternative.

He’d been keeping an eye on Diggle for a while now, trying to find out if he was trustworthy enough to help him when needed. He had proven himself to have a good heart. Loyal too. Oliver had asked him to keep Felicity safe whenever she was with him, that she would be his priority, and he had made true on his promise tonight at the auction. John Diggle was a man of few words but he was wise, and he’d been around the past four years to watch the city deteriorate. He would make the right call for the greater good.

A few hours later Diggle started stirring. He wiped the sweat off his forehead, reaching for his side as he sat up, eyes adjusting to the dimness of the factory basement. Oliver pushed himself off of the table he’d been leaning against, taking up a strong stance before him.

Diggle’s eyes widened the moment his gaze was focused enough to see who was standing in front of him.

“You’re him.” He said.

“I am.” Oliver said. “And I’m going to need your help.”"

* * *

*hello?

* * *

 

 **Outfits:** Oliver and Felicity [at dinner](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?.locale=nl&id=181101945) and [at the office](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?.locale=nl&id=181100099)


	5. Touch

_There's a love between us still_   
_But something's changed and I don't know why_   
_And all I want to do is go home with you_   
_But I know I'm out of my mind_   
  
_I want to touch you but I'm too late_   
_I want to touch you but there's history_   
_I can't believe that it's been three years_   
_Now when I see you, it's so bittersweet_   
  
_You want to touch me but you're too late_   
_You want to touch me but there's too much history_   
_Starting to live the lies we tell ourselves_   
_I only need you to be friends with me_   
  
_I've never felt so close_   
_But now I know it's over_   
_And all I want to do is go home with you_   
_But I know I'm out of my mind_

* * *

 

He’d calculated the risks of telling Diggle about his nighttime activities, but it’d been a risk nonetheless. When the police hadn’t shown up at his doorstep after he’d let the man go home with nothing but a stitched up bullet-wound, Oliver was sure that his secret was safe, but the question remained if Diggle was going to join his crusade or not.

Life went on, names were crossed of the list and things were quiet until about a week after the shooting at the exchange building.

“Just to be clear, I'm not signing on to be a sidekick.” Diggle said, arms crossed over his chest. Oliver nodded.

They were in the main living area of the Queen Mansion. Diggle had come to him early that morning, knowing that the house would be empty.

“But you're right.” He said, looking around the room for a moment before his gaze found Oliver again. “Fighting for this city needs to be done, and you're gonna do this with or without me.”

“Yeah.” Oliver shrugged, quirking up an eyebrow.

Diggle rolled his eyes and… was that a smile he saw tugging at his lips? “But with me, there'll be fewer casualties, including you.”

Eyebrows knitting together, Oliver shook his head. “Diggle, I'm not looking for anybody to save me.”

“Maybe not, but you need someone just the same. You are fighting a war, Queen, except you have no idea what war does to you, how it scrapes off little pieces of your soul.” Diggle shook his head a little and held out his hand for Oliver to take it.  

“You need someone to remind you of who you are, not this thing you're becoming.”

With that, Oliver took Diggle’s outstretched hand and nodded. He was right. He needed back-up, someone to help him when things got tight. He’d always hated asking for help but he couldn’t deny that it was for the best. His head shot up as he could hear the faint sounds of sirens in the distance, getting closer and thus louder by the second.

“You hear those sirens?” He asked.

Diggle frowned in confusion, answer enough. The sirens were getting louder and as the look on Diggle’s face changed, Oliver knew that he could hear them now too.

“They’re here for me.” He said calmly, the expression Diggle was sporting only intensifying.

“The vigilante popped up right after I came home. It wasn’t gonna take long before someone was going to put one and one together. I sped up the process.”

“What did you do?” Diggle asked, eyebrows knit together.

Oliver shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I have a plan.”

They were interrupted by the sound of banging rather than knocking on the front door. “Oliver Queen! SCPD, open the door.”

Oliver shrugged at Diggle and walked towards the foyer. Raisa had gotten to the door before he could, ending up being pushed out of the way roughly. She yelped as she stumbled against the side-table, almost knocking over a priceless vase.

“What is this? You can't just barge in here.” She said with her thick Russian accent.

“Yeah? Well, I got a badge and a gun that say different.” Detective Lance sneered at her, unnecessarily harsh. Police officers rushed inside, walking up to where Oliver stood, pretending to be surprised.

“Hey, what the hell's going on?! Detective Lance—” His words were cut off as his arms were painfully yanked behind his back, the handcuffs closed too tight around his wrist for good measure judging by the satisfied smirking on detective Lance’s face.

“Oliver Queen, you're under arrest on suspicion of obstruction of justice, aggravated assault, trespassing, acting as a vigilante and murder.”

* * *

 

She knew he had seen her coming through the glass wall separating his office from the hallway, but she still found herself knocking twice before stepping inside Walter Steele’s office. She hadn’t exactly been surprised when Walter had called her up to his office, it happened a lot with her being the head of the IT-department, almost family and quite possibly the smartest person in the company.

“You wanted to see me, Walter?” She asked, closing the door behind her.

Walter looked up, seemingly surprised at her arrival, pulled from his thoughts abruptly. The crease between his eyebrows “Felicity. Ah, yes, have a seat please?”

“Is everything okay?” She asked as she sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “I’m not getting fired am I? I don’t think I need to make a case about how I am the single most valuable member of your IT-department but I will.”

“No, no, you’re not getting fired. I called you up here because I wanted you to look into something for me.”

Felicity raised an eyebrow.

“A variance of two million dollars.”

He handed her a file. Once she opened it, she found a bunch of numbers, one standing out in particular because of the bright neon yellow used to mark it.

“Six million on a failed investment from 3 years ago.” Felicity muttered as she looked over the transactions.

“It was authorized by my wife.” Walter said. “I was hoping you could find out some of the details of the transaction for me.”

“Find out?” Felicity asked, raising an eyebrow.  

“Dig up discreetly.” Walter said. The reality and urgency of the situation started to dawn on her. Walter was asking her to spy on Moira. The woman who had practically raised her. She knew enough about the Queens that there had always been things that had been kept hidden from her and Oliver, things she knew she should question, but never did. She had trusted Robert and Moira to keep their family safe, and they almost always did. That didn’t mean that now that even Walter was having doubts, she wasn’t going to help him, even if it was to prove him wrong.

“I'm your girl.” She said. “I mean, I'm not your girl, I wasn't making a pass at you.”

Walter chuckled and smiled softly. “Thank you, Felicity.”

She nodded shortly before closing the file. “Thank you for not firing me.”

With a nod from Walter, Felicity turned to leave and she got halfway to the door when Walter’s phone rang. With her mind already going five hundred miles an hour over the missing two million, Walter called her name.

“Felicity! Hold on a second please.”

With a confused frown, Felicity turned on her heel to see an expression on Walter’s face that she had never, ever seen there before. Quite frankly she didn’t know how to describe it but a mixture of shock, disbelief, horror and worry. Felicity looked at him curiously, taking a few steps back towards his desk as he finished up on the call, nodding and agreeing and saying he would be there, wherever that was, as soon as possible. He hung up, tossed the phone on his desk haphazardly and sighed.

“Oliver got arrested.”

His words didn’t quite register, but she could hear her lips pop as her mouth fell open. Her mind went blank, and that was rare. She didn’t even realize she’d asked a question until she heard Walter’s answer.

“They think he’s the vigilante.”

She was out the door in a matter of seconds, hurrying back to her office to get her coat and bag and go to the station demanding answers. At the last second, she changed her mind. Instead of going straight to the station, she bee-lined her way to CNRI.

* * *

 

“Oliver got arrested and I need you to take his case.” Was the first thing she blurted out the moment Laurel was within hearing range. Laurel’s greeting smile was quickly replaced with a confused frown.

“Wow, wow, wow. Slow down!” Laurel said, putting her hands on Felicity’s upper arms. Felicity took a deep, wavering breath. Her hands were itching to hit something.

“Oliver was arrested this morning.” She whispered.

“For what?”

Felicity pursed her lips. “Suspicion of vigilantism.”

Laurel’s mouth fell open as the words began to dawn on her. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Oliver? The Vigilante that’s been terrorizing the one percenters?”

“I know, right? I need you to take his case and prove he’s innocent.”

Laurel nodded. “I’ll do it. But why me? Don’t the Queens have like super important and expensive lawyers for this kind of thing?”

“Yeah, they do. But you’re the only one I trust with this.” Felicity sighed. “Ever since he came back… I just…” Felicity looked down at her hands, twisting her fingers nervously. Ever since Oliver came back, things have been different. Oliver had told her about some of the things he went through and that made her even more worried about him. She knew he hadn’t told her everything. Not yet, but she just didn’t trust the Queen family lawyers to handle this case with the care it deserved. They worked for the money, not because they cared for the family’s wellbeing. If she was quite honest she thought they won most their cases by playing dirty. This wouldn’t be like that. She wouldn’t allow it and she would fight the Queen matriarch for it herself.

“Shh. It’s okay.” Laurel whispered, pulling her friend in for a hug. “I’ll take care of this, I promise.”

“Thank you.” She replied with a weak smile, blinking away the tears in her eyes. “I can’t lose him again.”

* * *

 

Desperate to prove his innocence, Oliver agreed to do a polygraph, much to Laurel’s displeasure. She’d taken on the case as a favor to Felicity and a stubborn client wasn’t exactly what she thought she’d agreed to. Oliver couldn’t blame her for getting mad at him for that decision especially because he hadn’t listened to her objections. It surprised him that she’d stayed, helping him through the questioning despite her annoyance.

“Is your name Oliver Queen?” Detective Lance began. Oliver nodded. “Yes.”

“Were you born in Starling City May 16th, 1985?” “Yes.”

“Is your hair blue?” The detective asked sarcastically. “No.” Oliver replied, sighing softly.

“Have you ever been to Iron Heights prison?” Oliver shook his head. “No.”

Detective Lance held up the police sketch that had first been made after Oliver’s initial report after the kidnapping attempt on him and Felicity. “Are you the man in this picture?”

He shook his head again. “No.”

Lance squinted, pursing his lips. “You steal 40 million dollars off Adam Hunt?”

“No, I didn't.” Oliver sighed.

“Were you marooned on an island called Lian Yu for 5 years?” “Yes.”

“How is that even relevant?” Laurel asked in her attorney voice.

Detective Lance harrumphed at his daughter, squinting his eyes again. “I don't need to show relevance, but since you asked, whatever happened to your… client” He spat out the word with venom on his tongue. “…on that island turned him into a cold blooded killer.”

“The physician that examined you reported that you’re covered in scar tissue.”

Oliver glared at the man, his jaw tightening at the memories of exactly how he got those scars. “The machine won't work unless you ask a question.” He muttered.

“Did that happen to you there?” “Yes.”

“When you came back, you told everyone that you were alone on that island. Are you claiming that your scars were Self-inflicted?” “No.”

“I wasn't alone.” The room fell silent except for the humming of the polygraph machine. Laurel stopped breathing while the detective’s eyebrows knit together.

Oliver looked down at his hands. “I didn't want to talk about what happened to me on the island.”

“Why not?” Lance pressured.

The air got stuck in his throat and Oliver had to take a deep breath to stay calm at the awful memories assaulting his brain. “Because the people that were there tortured me.” He said, quieter than before.

“Have you killed anyone?”

Oliver took a labored breath and nodded. “Yes. In self-defense.”

Lance glanced at the technician operating the machine. “I'd have to study the data, but just eyeballing it, he's telling the truth.”

“Hmm.”

Laurel closed the file she had lying on the table and crossed her arms over her chest. “Can I assume that you'll be recommending Ms. Spencer to drop all charges against my client?” She asked her father.

“No.” Lance shook his head. “I know a guilty man when I see one. He is guilty, whether you can see it or not.” He spat out.

* * *

 

Oliver got bailed out for five million dollars and an ankle bracelet with a GPS tracker.

“Mueller's car has been parked in the warehouse district of the Glades for 45 minutes.” He said as Diggle entered his room that night. Just because he couldn’t leave his home didn’t mean his mission could be put on hold. He’d been tracking Leo Mueller for a while now. He was German arms dealer, suspected in the theft of a hundred M249 Squad Automatic Weapons and the night before he had arrived in Starling City to sell the guns.

“Yeah, that's a good place for an arms deal.” Diggle said nonchalantly

“Ok, since this is going down tonight, what do we do, drop a dime on Mueller with the cops?”

Oliver shook his head, leaning back in his chair. “No, the man in the Hood. He's going to stop them.”

Diggle frowned. “Oliver, you can't leave the house.”

Oliver quirked an eyebrow at the older man. “It doesn't have to be me in the hood.”

His implication seemed to dawn on him then. Diggle’s frown made place for a look of surprise and back to an even more serious frown. “That's why you got yourself arrested? So you’d have the stupid ankle bracelet placing you here at the house while I'm supposed to be across town dressed as a vigilante?”

Oliver shrugged. “I thought that it was going to be good enough just for you to be seen in the hood.”

He sat up straight in his chair, gesturing at his computer screen. “I didn't count on Mueller showing up and I didn't count on the possibility that the Glades could be flooded with machine guns.”

Dig averted his gaze, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Look…I promise, it was never my intention to put you in harm's way.” Oliver said.

“Oliver, I didn't think joining your crusade was ever going to be risk-free.” He ran a hand over his face and sighed. “I just don't like being played.”

Diggle scoffed and shook his head. “Now you might have gotten used to lying to everyone else in your life, but I'm the one guy you don't lie to.”

“You're right. I'm sorry.”

The older man nodded slowly in acceptance.

“So am I going to jail?” Oliver asked.

“No, man.” Diggle shook his head again, looking down at his hands. “I got to stop an arms deal.”

* * *

 

Felicity was about to knock on Oliver’s bedroom door when Diggle opened it from the other side. She yelped, putting her hand over her mouth, a fist raised in the air as she almost bumped into him.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t know you were here. Did I interrupt something?” She apologized quickly.

His lips twitched in a tiny smile like she’d noticed they always did and shook his head. “No problem, Miss Merlyn, he’s all yours.”

Diggle stepped out of the doorway, gesturing that she could go inside. Taking a deep breath, Felicity watched him walk down the corridor before stepping inside the room. She looked around, the place was still the same except for the signs that someone had been living here for the first time in five years. The towel on the bed. the leather jacket thrown over the back of the couch.

“Hey.” Oliver said, casually leaning back in his desk chair. His smile faltered when he saw the serious look on her face.

“Hi” She replied, closing the door behind her.

“Everything okay?” Oliver asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

Felicity walked further into the room, running her fingers across the back of the couch. She hadn’t been in this room for months. She liked to come here to think, mostly about Oliver, but for a while now, she hadn’t had the time. Moira had never changed anything inside, which kept his memory alive, however painful it was. The room was cleaned just like the others, but never used except for Felicity’s sporadic visits. She kept quiet for as long as she could, mentally preparing herself for the conversation she was about to have with him.

She nodded slowly. “Yeah, It’s just... we need to talk.”

Frowning, Oliver stood up, pushing himself out of the chair and walked over to where she was standing.

“Laurel told me about the polygraph.” She said. His frown intensified.

“Don’t worry. She didn’t give any details, client confidentiality and all, but she suggested I talk to you.”

Oliver didn't say anything but averted his gaze to the floor. Felicity tipped her head to the side just a little to look at him before she continued.

“So, naturally, I started thinking about everything you’ve told me, and I realized something.”

“What’s that?” Oliver asked.

Felicity took a deep breath and looked him in the eye for a long moment. “Your mother told me that there were scars. Can I see them?”

“Are you sure?” Oliver asked quietly.

Felicity nodded, breath hitching in her throat. They were so close, standing about a foot apart and she could feel the heat radiating off of him. Oliver slowly unbuttoned his shirt, his fingers almost trembling, jaw tensing up and she could swear she saw him swallow before revealing his torso littered with puckered flesh and dark ink. Slowly, Felicity reached out, pulling the blue fabric to the side as she looked at him. The star tattoo on the right, the angry scratched just below it. The burn on his left, the Chinese words down his abs. The bite-like mark on the opposite side. With a ragged breath and shaky fingers, Felicity traced the long diagonal scar just below his pecs.

“That was the first one.” He muttered.

When she looked up again, he was a lot closer than she expected. His eyes bore into hers, her breath catching in her throat and she was unable to move. She was trying to find some clue hidden in his eyes telling her that she was imagining things, that her assumptions had been incorrect. She found none.

“You’re him, aren’t you? You’re the vigilante.” She muttered after a long moment, barely above a whisper. Oliver’s expression of mock-surprise didn’t fool her. She sighed.

“I'm not an idiot, Oliver.” She said, clutching his shirt a little tighter in her fist without even realizing she was doing it.

She averted her gaze, eyes lingering on the messy black ink embedded into his skin, a finger absentmindedly trailing along marred flesh and pursed her lips for a moment. “You've dropped some fairly ridiculous lies on me, and still I decided to trust you, but I can’t deny the facts that keep piling up.”

Felicity looked up at him again, their faces mere inches apart. She could see the defeat in his eyes. She knew it was true.

“That knife throw was pretty impressive.” He whispered, hand coming up to cup her elbow.

A nervous laugh escaped from her lips. She ducked her head, forehead leaning against his chest. All her nerves seemed to drain out of her body, leaving nothing but pride and hope and trust and love. Oliver’s arms tightened around her, a hand moving to the nape of her neck

For a moment, Felicity thought maybe he would be angry or upset and would distance himself from her again, but he wasn’t. He just held her and pressed a kiss to her hair. Felicity looked up, meeting his gaze in curiosity. She couldn’t figure out what was going on inside his head and it was making her crazy. He used to be an open book to her. She thought she saw his eyes darken but it may have just been the dim lighting combined with their closeness. Involuntarily, her tongue darted out to wet her lips at the sight.

“Felicity…” He murmured. “I wanted to tell you, I promise you. I was scared. I don’t want you to get hurt in the crossfire.”

Felicity shook her head a little, reaching up to cup his cheek. “I get it. You don’t need to apologize.”

He smiled weakly at her, moving his hand to brush some hair out of her face, thumb softly stroking her cheekbone. Felicity let her hand fall back to his chest, right over his heart. It was beating hard and fast, his skin hot against the palm of her hand.

“I love you, Felicity.” He whispered.

Her eyes went wide, lips falling open of their own accordance. She was eager to reciprocate the sentiment but something was holding her back. Maybe it was the sheer intensity of their closeness or that he had had taken her completely by surprise, she wasn’t sure. Unintentionally, she reached up, hand coming up to the nape of his neck.

Before she could think about what was happening, he leaned down to meet her halfway, closing the remaining inches of distance between them and covered her mouth with his in a soft, slow kiss. Her eyes fell shut and she responded immediately, surprising herself. His mouth was so warm and familiar, the caress of his lips softer than she could have imagined. His hands were in her hair, holding her close as she gripped his biceps. He tasted tentatively with his tongue, and Felicity opened her mouth with a soft moan.

He’d been the one that saved her on multiple occasions, he’d been the one taking down criminals, going out in the dead of night to protect the city, risking his life for others.

Felicity’s fingers ran through the short hair on the back of his head, nails scratching lightly across his scalp. She hummed against his lips as she let the kiss take her over completely, his warmth encompassing her entirely. His arm tightened around her waist, pulling her closer against him.

Pride welled up deep inside her at the thought of Oliver watching over the city like a guardian. It disappeared as soon as it bubbled up. She realized the man she loved had blood on his hands. The man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with had killed people. Her breath hitched, eyes popping open and pulling away quickly.

She put a hand over her lips, still tingling from the intimate touch they’d shared.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” Oliver started, voice a little scratchy.

Felicity started backing away, shaking her head. “No, it’s not your fault…”

She slipped from his fingers, hand dropping from her lips, meeting his gaze again. The crease between his eyebrows and the hurt look on his face almost had her change her mind.

“I should…” She gestured to the door.

Oliver tilted his head to the side in defeat and sighed. “Felicity…”

She shook her head again and turned on her heel, hurrying out of the room. The whispered “You don’t have to go.” Barely registered with her before she shut the door behind her again.

Felicity rushed out of the mansion. She ran into Thea on the stairs, ignoring her cheery greeting completely, leaving the teen behind with a confused look on her face.

It wasn’t until she was in the safe and familiar surrounding silence of her car that she broke down to tears. She couldn’t do this. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. The man she thought she knew better than anyone had been lying to her face. And that stung. Putting her arms on the steering wheel, she cried until there was no more eye make-up left to mess up.

 

* * *

 

 ** _Outfits:_** [Felicity at Queen Consolidated](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=181617078), [Felicity at the Queen Mansion](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=181616471#fans)


	6. All I Want

_All I want is nothing more, hear you knocking at my door_   
_'Cause if I could see your face once more, to die a happy woman I'm sure_   
_When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside_   
_I lay in tears in bed all night, alone without you by my side._

_If you love me, why'd you leave me?_   
_Take my body, take my body_   
_All I want is and all I need is_   
_To find somebody, I'll find somebody like you._   
_Like you. Like you. You._

_'Cause you brought out the best of me,_   
_A part of me I'd never seen,_   
_You took my soul and wiped it clean,_   
_Our love was made for movie screens._

_If you love me, why'd you leave me?_   
_Take my body, take my body_   
_All I want is and all I need is_   
_To find somebody, find somebody._

_If you love me, why'd you leave me?_   
_Take my body, take my body_   
_All I want is and all I need is_   
_To find somebody, I'll find somebody like you._

* * *

 

Felicity tried hard to forget about the kiss she'd shared with Oliver almost a week ago. It had been amazing, just as she remembered. Her toes curling in her shoes, a feeling of home had washed over her and she'd almost drowned in it. His skin was a little rougher against hers because of the stubble he was sporting but that only worked to intensify the tingles and fluttering of her heart.

She really did try to forget the soft way his lips had moved over hers, the taste of him on the tip of her tongue. She craved more of it, more of him, but she knew better than to pursue it. She really did try to forget about the way his fingers had tangled in her hair, angling her head towards him, gently massaging her neck.

Felicity did what anyone would do trying to forget about something they wanted so but couldn't have again. She threw herself into work, which only made it easier not to think about him. She let his calls go to voicemail because she was 'busy' or 'in a meeting' and didn't text him to go get lunch together just because she was bored. She knew Oliver knew exactly what she was doing, but she reasoned it was for the best to keep it this way for a little while, maybe until the adrenaline had worn off a little. Felicity feared that was going to take a while because there was something about their kisses, there always had been, that made them unforgettable, forcing their way into being the first thing you'd think of when you woke up and the last thing you'd think of before falling asleep. Some people would say it was because they're meant to be. Soulmates, even. But, as of late, Felicity wasn't so sure anymore.

She made a point of avoiding everything that reminded her of Oliver even in the slightest bit. Yes, she may possibly have been going crazy, but that wasn't new when it came to Oliver. She didn't go to her favorite coffee shop for her morning cup before work anymore because they used to hang out there when they were teenagers. She rerouted her drive to work so she wouldn't pass the Italian restaurant where they'd met for dinner a couple of weeks before, forcing her to leave ten minutes earlier than usual. Thank god she had Walter's off the record assignment to keep her distracted, because she would actually have gone mad without Oliver.

And when she wasn't working on that, she caught herself hacking into the SCPD mainframe on multiple occasions, looking for autopsy reports and witness statements from anything involving 'the vigilante'. That did nothing to calm her mind. And that's exactly what she caught herself doing while waiting for the searches she was running for Walter had been going. She'd watched enough crime shows in her life not to be completely grossed out by the picture of the dead man on her screen. The skin was pale and the chest sewn up. Felicity bit her lip as she read the autopsy report. The wound the arrow had left wasn't supposed to be lethal. The cause of death was blood loss. Felicity took a deep breath, gaze zeroing in on the tiny hole in the man's shoulder when her computer started beeping. She jumped, taken by surprise completely. Her searches had finished, and the results weren't anything she'd expected.

"The company Moira invested in doesn't exist." She said before the door to Walter's executive office even had the chance to fall shut again. Determined and with purpose in her step, Felicity walked right up to his desk. It wasn't that she was aiming to expose the woman she considered a mother, but she had always known there was more to Moira Queen than the loving wife and doting mother she presented herself as. What she had found could possibly be a clue to what it was that she was hiding.

"I don't understand." Walter said, looking up from his paperwork.

Felicity pulled out a piece of paper showing the trail the deposit Moira had made had left behind. It had been hidden well, but not well enough. "There was no investment."

"The money was used to set up an offshore LLC called Tempest." She explained, pulling out another file with everything she had found on the company.

Walter frowned, reaching for his reading glasses. "I don't recall that name being under the Queen Consolidated banner." He said while putting the frames on the bridge of his nose, squinting a little at the words on paper.

Felicity pursed her lips and nodded. "That's cause it's not."

Walter exhaled heavily, glancing at her over the file with concern in his eyes.

"There's nothing registered with the Secretary of State, no federal tax records, no patent applications filed. The company isn't actually in business." She continued, pacing back and forth in front of his desk. She'd combed the internet looking for clues on the supposed company, but there'd been nothing. Not even a sign of what sector Tempest was working in.

"The only thing I could find was that in in 2009, Tempest purchased a warehouse. Right here in Starling City." She said, a proud little smirk on her lips. She was pretty sure not even her hacker friends from MIT would have been able to find that intel.

"You don't happen to have an address for me?" Walter asked, putting down the files she'd handed him.

Felicity nodded, placing another file on his desk and pointing a red-painted fingernail to where she had highlighted the warehouse's address and zip code. Walter was very quiet, had been during the whole conversation. While she had energy for ten men high on caffeine, Walter seemed to zone out at the thought of his wife hiding things from him. Which was understandable. When Felicity noticed, she calmed herself down, waiting for him to say something. All he did was thank her for her work and tell her that he would let her know if he needed anything else. They said their goodbyes and in a confused daze, Felicity made her way back down to her office.

Completely lost in thought, she didn't even notice the people waiting for her arrival until someone cleared his throat. Shaking her head, she emerged from her thoughts, clutching the folder with Walter's intel a little closer to her chest. She exhaled heavily and slumped her shoulders when she saw the people who had startled her.

"Oliver. Of course you're here." She groaned, looking between him and Mr. Diggle.

"Felicity." He acknowledged her. "I know you probably don't want to see me right now but I need your help."

She scoffed. "With what? It's not like 'personal Internet researcher for the Starling City Vigilante' is in my job title, Oliver."

He sighed. "I need to find somebody. Somebody who doesn't want to be found." Oliver said, pushing off her desk that he'd been leaning against casually. Like he owned the place. Which, technically he did, but that wasn't the point. By the way his voice had softened, Felicity knew it was serious, that he wasn't just looking for a long lost friend. He was looking for a criminal.

Felicity looked at Diggle again. "So, you're in on his little secret too? I should've guessed it."

She rolled her eyes and pushed past Oliver to get to her desk. Dropping the files into a drawer she sat down in her chair. She knew as soon as he had asked for her help, she was already going to help him in any way she could. Oliver was her weakness, her soft spot. She couldn't say no to him.

"You're lucky I never back away from a challenge," she muttered, powering up her computer and pulling her keyboard closer to her.

"What have you got for me?" Felicity asked, looking at Oliver. She could see the relief in his eyes right before he pulled himself together.

"A group called the Royal Flush gang has been terrorizing banks all over the west coast. One of the members punched a bank manager and his ring left a mark. We managed to get our hands on a picture and a witness's description of the gunman and we're hoping it could lead to finding out who the people behind the masks are." Oliver explained, handing her a flash drive.

"I've been trying to figure that out too." Felicity muttered to herself as she took the drive from him, quickly plugging it into her computer. Seeing the hurt look on his face, she was fairly certain Oliver had heard what she'd said.

Taking a deep breath, she focused back on her screen, pulling up the image, isolating the design the print had left and cross referencing it to school, college and sports team logos in the area. As soon as she had cleared up the image, she'd been pretty sure it was a class ring of some sorts. She'd added in the sports just to be sure. She got a match in under a minute.

"Larchmont High." She said, eyes flitting from one screen to the other as she continued working.

"Of course, a class ring." Diggle said, crossing his enormous arms over his chest.

Felicity typed like her life depended on it, and if she was honest, it felt really good to help find this criminal. It awakened a fierceness deep inside her that she hadn't realized she possessed. Adrenaline rushed through her veins as search after search revealed just a tiny bit more of the puzzle. "I cross-referenced his height and relative age with a list of students and alumni."

From the corner of her eye, she could see Oliver was watching her intently, a crease between his eyebrows. "That's a pretty long list."

She nodded. "It is."

Her fingers stilled as her computer beeped, lifting her hands off the keyboard, hovering over it as she looked at the information she'd found.

"I dug a little deeper and found Kyle Reston."

Oliver and Diggle exchanged a look, clearly impressed by how fast she'd managed to find the guy. Felicity's hand flew to her mouse and closed the irrelevant windows one by one as she pieced together Kyle's story in her head. It wasn't long before she noticed that there was nothing to be found about him after 2008.

"Right before Kyle's senior year, not only did he drop out, he dropped off the grid."

She let the info hang in the air for a moment before she started typing again. "Along with his family- father, mother and a younger brother."

Diggle frowned and nodded. "There were two other guys involved in this particular robbery."

"And a woman." Oliver pitched in.

The two men exchanged a look. Felicity watched them for a moment, biting her bottom lip. An idea popped into her head and she started typing again, looking for the official police report that was issued after the heist. "Aside from the bank manager, there were 22 customers and employees that came out of the bank." She murmured.

"Inside the bank, They put a ringer in." Oliver groaned like he should have thought of it earlier.

"The mom." Diggle finished his thought.

"The dad is Derek Reston." She said, reaching up to push her glasses up her nose before they completely slid off in her concentration.

"There's not much here that's recent. No credit activity. No utility bills. Just like with Kyle."

Oliver sighed, uncrossing his arms from over his chest.

"The police are looking for a crew, but we're looking for a family." He said, leaning against Felicity's desk as her fingers flew across the keyboard. Her heart was beating in her chest and she could hear the blood rushing through her ears. A thrill was running through her that she'd never experienced before. She liked it. Her fingers danced across the keys like they hadn't since college. The thrill of uncovering mysteries was like fuel to a fire burning deep inside of her.

"Hold up. He used to work at the Queen Steel Factory. For fifteen years until it shut down in '07." Felicity said as she uncovered yet another piece of the puzzle.

"Derek Reston worked for my father?" Oliver's face contorted into a confused expression. He looked at her questioningly, silently asking for more information.

"It looks like Derek was the factory Foreman until your dad outsourced production to China." She said, meeting his eyes for the first time since she had started digging.

Not looking away, Felicity sighed softly. "About 1,500 employees got laid off."

She could see the pain flash behind Oliver's eyes. He was feeling for what these people had gone through, much more than he would like to admit. Felicity could feel her heart cracking for him as the wall she'd build around it shook on its very foundation. Taking a ragged breath, she tore her gaze from his and turned back to her screen.

"Looks like the finance guys even found a loophole in the union contract, so, they didn't have to pay severance packages and pensions to their employees." She said so softly it was almost a whisper.

Diggle and Oliver looked at each other for a moment, contemplating what their next step was without the need of words.

"They all pretty much lost their homes." Felicity bit her lip. How aware she was of the secrets Moira had been keeping, as oblivious she'd been to the wrongs Robert had done. He had let fifteen hundred former employees go without any money to keep themselves alive. Pushed them out of the airplane without a parachute. Left to fend for themselves after years of loyalty to the company.

"Those factory guys frequently hung out at a bar after work. The Restons just got home after 3 years away. That's my best bet on where to find him." Felicity muttered, pulling her hands from the keyboard and tucking them in her lap. She looked down at her hands as she took a deep breath. The adrenaline came crashing down like a heavy weight on her chest.

She heard Oliver say something to Diggle but she couldn't make out what it was. Her hearing seemed muted to the point where she could only hear the grumble of his voice, feeling the vibrations of the low tones in her bones. She zoned out for a moment until she felt a hand on her knee, gently turning her in her chair. Oliver was kneeling in front of her, hand reaching up to cup her cheek as he whispered to her, trying to get her out of her frozen state.

"Felicity? Are you alright?" She heard him ask as she pulled herself out of her numbness.

She shook her head a little as if to wake up her brain. "Yes, sorry, I just zoned out for a second."

Oliver's eyebrows twitched and his lips tightened. He didn't believe her. "I'm worried about you. I haven't heard from you since…"

Since he'd kissed her. And she'd kissed him back and never wanted it to stop. Since that one moment in time when everything had been perfect until the reality of the situation had come crashing down on her.

"I'm sorry, I just needed some time to think." She mumbled, looking down at her hands fidgeting in her lap.

Oliver sighed and put a hand on her knee. "Felicity. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you, I—"

Her eyes went wide. "No! Don't you dare blame yourself. I returned the favor, didn't I?"

"Then what is the problem? Talk to me, please." He whispered, thumb stroking the inside of her knee, squeezing gently.

"Oliver…" She sighed, tears burning behind her eyes. She pressed her lips together in a firm line, blinking away tears before she spoke again.

"Ever since I learned you were alive, I dreamt of what it would be like once you came back to me. I had so much hope for us, I still do, but I didn't take into account how much the both of us would have changed over the years."

Her voice broke and she had to take a deep breath to center herself and focus. She never thought she'd be telling him all of this and hadn't, not even a little bit, taking into account how hard it would be to just get the words out of her mouth. She couldn't imagine what Oliver must've been feeling in that moment if she was already having such a hard time.

"I wanted to give you space because of all that you've been through, but it's not just you who went through hell. I lost the man I love and with him all my hopes and dreams for the future. I was so lost without you and didn't realize how much impact that had on me until you kissed me last week." Felicity sniffled, hand reaching out to grab his collar, making a last minute beeline for his cheek, fingers gently running through his hair.

She took a deep breath and shook her head. "I can't be with you if you're out hunting criminals every night, risking your life for others, or whatever reasons you have. I can't lose you again, Oliver. I won't let myself love you if you're just gonna leave me again."

"Felicity…" Oliver whispered, hurt flashing behind his eyes, his hands moving to hold hers.

Shaking her head, Felicity closed her eyes for a moment, wishing all the pain and heartbreak away so she could just be with him. When she opened them again, there was determination in her eyes.

"No…" She said, louder this time as if to not only convince Oliver, but herself too that this was for the best. Exhaling, Felicity leaned forward and put her forehead against his.

"I'm sorry, Oliver." She whispered, putting a hand against his cheek.

"I will find my way back to you. I promise you that." Oliver said, blue eyes boring into her own.

Before she knew it, he had closed the distance between them, their lips locking together like they were made for each other, the only two pieces to complete the puzzle. Felicity whimpered against him, the tears finally escaping down her cheeks as she grabbed his collar. The kiss was hard, almost bruising, filled with passion and emotion neither of them could put into words.

As quickly as it happened, it was over again. Oliver gently untangled her fingers from his shirt, his forehead pressed against hers as he did so before he stood up and walked out of her office without looking back.

Wiping at the tears leaking down her face, Felicity put a hand over her mouth in shock. What had she done? She'd driven away the only man who had always kept his promised. She knew it was for the best, to protect her heart from breaking, but deep down she knew that this goodbye had already broken her.

* * *

 

**Outfits:** [Felicity at QC](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?.locale=nl&id=182881127)


	7. Every Single Night

_ _

_I'm so into you, boy_

_You told me some time ago_  
_You don't know what I've been thinking of_  
_And you say that I should let you go_  
_I tell you that it's you that I am dreaming of_  
_Cause I feel your heart beat if I breath_  
_Every single look you define me_  
_I will never shut down my beating_  
_I will show the world what I've got_  
_All I wanna do is surround you_  
_Make you understand that without you_  
_Every time you touch me, I'm dying_  
_Every single night, oh, every single day, oh_  
_Every night I feel us colliding_  
_Trying to let go, but I'm blinded_  
_Tell me what I do is enough_  
_I am into you, oh, I'm so into you!_

* * *

 

"Dinah Laurel Lance, I've been wanting to ask you this for a very long time…"

Tommy got out of his seat, dropping to one knee in front of his girlfriend in the middle of a crowded restaurant. He was done trying to plan the perfect moment, sure he wanted the proposal to be perfect, but he just couldn't wait any longer. Their date had been wonderful, and he was about to make it extraordinary. Laurel's hand flew up to cover her mouth in shock, holding her breath as she watched him get down on one knee. Tommy pulled the blue velvet box from his inside pocket, popping it open and presenting the love of his life with a beautiful princess cut diamond ring.

"Will you marry me?" He asked, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

He could see the tears forming in Laurel's eyes as she nodded, hand dropping from her mouth to whisper 'yes'. With a grin so wide it almost cracked open his entire face, Tommy took the silver ring from is velvety bedding and slipped it onto Laurel's ring finger. She stared at it in shock for a moment before exhaling heavily and leaning down to kiss her fiancé passionately. Cheering erupted around them as they kissed.

It wasn't until a waiter appeared at their table, clearing his throat to present them with two glasses of champagne.

"On the house." He said with a gently smile, congratulating them on the engagement as he set down the glasses.

Thanking him, Tommy sat back down in his seat across from his new fiancée. He'd never seen her eyes sparkling that bright before and it was quite marvelous. He couldn't let go of her newly adorned hand either. His thumb kept stroking across her knuckles, even as they finished eating their dinner. They were ready to go home pretty quickly, wanting to continue the celebration in a more private setting. Tommy paid their bill and all lovey-dovey as they were, stealing kisses and clinging to each other, they made their way to the foyer to get their coats.

While exchanging their third kiss as they waited for their coats, Tommy spotted something over Laurel's shoulder. Or rather, someone. Laurel pulled away from him when the girl behind the counter handed them their coats, which gave him some time to look back into the restaurant.

"Is that Oliver?" He asked Laurel as he narrowed his eyes to get a closer look.

Laurel paused and followed his gaze. "Yeah. Definitely him. But that is not Felicity."

Tommy frowned and shook his head. "Alright, let's just go. Staring is rude and besides, I've got a lot more planned for you tonight, fiancée."

Grinning from ear to ear, Laurel wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in for a kiss.

"I really like the sound of that." She giggled, tucking her hand in the crook of Tommy's elbow and letting him lead her out of the restaurant.

* * *

 

It was Thursday night and one of the rare days that Felicity had nothing to do but relax. Putting her bookmark between the pages and setting the book down next to her, Felicity tucked her feet up under her when she saw the caller-id.

"Tommy! Hi, how are you?" Felicity asked as she answered her phone. She was sitting on her couch, book in hand when the phone had started ringing.

"I proposed to Laurel last night." Tommy blurted out.

There was a beat of silence on both sides of the conversation before Felicity realized what exactly her friend had said and her face contorted into an expression of surprise mixed with an unimaginable amount of joy.

"OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONS!I mean, only if she said yes, of course, but obviously she said yes, I mean why wouldn't she, you guys are perfect for each other. Oh I'm so excited and happy for you! Mr. and Mrs. Smoak, that sounds amazing! So? When's the wedding? Oh my god I'm getting ahead of myself again. 3…2…1. Okay. She said yes, right?"

Tommy laughed on the other end of the line. "Yes, Felicity, she said yes."

Felicity sighed. "I'm really happy for you two. Congratulations."

"Thank you. So much, but I actually have something else to tell you. I don't know if you'd want to know but I feel like you should."

Felicity frowned, suddenly feeling very nervous, fidgeting with the trim of her fluffiest blanket. "Tommy? What is this about? You're kind of scaring me. Did something happen?"

"It's about Oliver."

Pursing her lips, Felicity nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. Since she'd made it clear there was no future for them as a couple as long as he was running across rooftops, risking his life at night, she hadn't spoken to him unless really necessary. It had been a couple of weeks since that horrible day. Yes, she hated it as much as he did. She only saw him whenever Moira invited her over for dinner or when she'd run into him at the mansion when she was dropping off some files for Walter. She knew he was avoiding her just like she was him. It got easier over time. She hadn't thought about him once. Today.

"Oh. What about him?"

"Last night, when Laurel and I went to dinner, we...saw him." Tommy spoke.

Felicity frowned in confusion. "So? He's allowed to go to dinner, isn't he?"

Tommy was quiet for a moment. "He was with someone else. And by someone else, I mean a possible romantic partner that's not you."

Felicity's world stopped spinning for a split-second, but it was enough for her life to crumble to pieces. How could this be? He'd told her he loved her. She didn't understand. Had he been lying? Was it that easy to get over her? How could he move on just like that? Was she just another girl to him? No more than a fling that was easy to get over? The promise he'd made to her just a few weeks ago was ingrained into her memory. He would fight for her. For them. Had he already forgotten her? Felicity bit her lip as the possibilities, one more horrid than the other, ran through her mind. A fire started burning in her chest. She couldn't believe Oliver would actually do that. It felt like he was doing it on purpose. Asshole.

And then she realized. What right did she have to criticize him? She'd been the one to call it off between the two of them. She'd needed space. Oliver hadn't wanted to put a halt to their relationship, but she'd made her decision. So why was she feeling like this? This gnawing deep down in her stomach. It wasn't anger, or disgust or confusion. Was she jealous?

A knock on her front door pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Oh, Tommy, I'm sorry, I gotta go. There's someone at the door."

Tommy sighed on the other end of the line. "Alright. Just please, Felicity. Don't jump to conclusions. I don't want—"

Too late. Felicity thought, but she would put up a good front not to worry her friend. "I won't. I gotta go. Thank you for telling me."

After hanging up, Felicity kicked the blanket off of her and got off of the couch, bare feet padding towards the front door, cellphone still in hand. She frowned as she peeked through the peephole.

Unsure, she opened the door. "Oliver." She said with a soft smile. "What are you doing here?"

He returned her smile and took a breath before speaking. "Look, I know you said you couldn't be with me. I understand. I'm not here to try and change your mind, but… I miss having you in my life and I-"

Felicity shook her head and held up a hand to stop him. "It's okay. C'mon in."

With a soft smile, she pulled the door open a little further and stepped out of the way. Oliver looked unsure as he walked inside, looking around like it was the first time he set foot in the place. The comfort they had with each other had made their friendship, their relationship so great. The way they communicated, verbally and non-verbally, it all seemed a distant memory, something from the past. Crumbled down in the wake of recent events and decisions made. A trust and familiarity that they would only get back with time. A lot of time.

They were willing to work on it. This was a first attempt.

They sat on the couch eating their ice-cream, talking about mundane things like work, family, friends. Felicity happily shared the news of Tommy and Laurel getting engaged while Oliver talked to her about the progress of the restaurant. He clearly noticed the way she quieted down. He knew her well enough to recognize the little crease between her eyebrows as being extremely deep in thought. He had to call her name out twice to get her to snap out of it. Her head snapped up in his direction, hand falling away from her lips, big blue eyes meeting his.

"That's where your base of operations is, isn't it?" She murmured.

"What?" He asked, frowning.

Felicity swallowed. "The restaurant is a cover. So you have an alibi for whenever you need to go out and shoot arrows."

"Yes." Oliver replied after a long deep breath.

Felicity sighed in exasperation. "And here I thought you were actually passionate about something for once."

They stared each other down for a long moment until Oliver broke the loaded silence.

"If there's something you wanna say to me, Felicity, just say it!"

Felicity bit the inside of her cheek, averting her gaze to where she was fidgeting with her fingers in her lap.

"I know about the girl you went out with last night." She muttered.

Oliver sighed. Helena Bertinelli. He'd only taken her to dinner to find out if she would release any intel about her father's organization. Romantically, he would only ever be interested in one person. But this was business and he had to put up a good front to keep his cover. Dating the daughter of the head of the Italian mob was the perfect way in. And as it turned out, Helena wanted to see her father go down just as much as he did after he had her fiancé killed.

"I don't understand how you could move on so easily. You promised me you'd come back to me and one second later there's another girl on your arm. That kind of hurt."

"You know what also kind of hurt?" Oliver asked, anger in his voice as he looked her dead in the eye. They both knew exactly what the answer was to that question. It had not kind of, but really, really hurt when Felicity had told him she couldn't be with him. They just looked at each other. Blue meeting blue, chests rising and falling with the heavy breathing.

"You were the one to call it off between us, not me. So stop acting like this is my fault." Oliver said quietly, averting his gaze.

He pushed himself off the couch and headed for the door.

"Oliver, wait!" She called out, putting her bowl on the coffee table and scrambling to her feet. She barely managed to get between him and the door before he had the chance to open it, but he wouldn't manhandle her out of the way.

"I'm sorry. I had no right. Believe me, I know this is on me." Felicity said, putting a hand on his chest to stop him, clutching his shirt when he tried to turn away from her. She understood he was hurt, but he needed to listen to her.

"I ask myself on a daily basis if it was the right call." She murmured.

That got his attention.

Felicity was pretty sure she was going to regret the split-second decision she'd just made in the morning, blame it on the wine and shitty day at work she'd had, but if she was being honest with herself, she never was, and never would be, able to resist Oliver. It felt like her entire body was aching for him. Her heart rate quickened, her palms getting clammy. And that wasn't something she hadn't experienced before. She knew the signs that said she was about to succumb to his very being. But, she knew, that even if he had her wrapped around his finger, she'd always had the same effect on him. There was no denying the immense amount of chemistry they had. Both mentally and physically.

Oliver loomed over her, his heated gaze boring into hers. His lips pressed into a thin line.

With one last ragged breath Felicity pushed up on her tiptoes, tightened her grip on his collar and pressed her lips against his. It started out soft, but as soon as Oliver responded with a low, guttural growl and his hands wrapping around her, pressing her further into the door, all the softness was replaced by a fury, a hunger, a need, to be with each other.

He could've stopped her, could've pushed her away. The fact that he didn't told her that maybe she hadn't screwed up that badly. Their lips moved together with hurried passion, teeth nipping and tongues meeting. Felicity's hands moved into his hair as he pressed them chest to chest. Felicity lifted up her knee as her nails scratched at his scalp, giving them a little friction they both needed.

Oliver tugged at the straps of Felicity's cami, but when he realized that while she had her hands in his hair, the piece of fabric wouldn't come off, he wrapped his arms back around her waist and lifted her up off the floor. Felicity yelped into his mouth, tightening her grasp on his shoulders, letting him carry her into the bedroom. They didn't bother with the lights.

Setting her down at the edge of the bed, Oliver immediately moved his attention back to her flimsy camisole, but not before Felicity reached the buttons of his shirt. She literally ripped it off of him, sending the buttons scattering across the hardwood floor. It was extremely hot. Watching her undress him further was even hotter. She let her hands roam over his chest, freely touching the numerous scars and tattoos like they were the most delicate things in the world. She didn't look away from them or ignore them. And that's when Oliver realized this was way more than just a sexually frustrated hook-up.

He stood there, dumbstruck for a second, while Felicity made work of his belt. He stopped her, cupping her face, forcing her to look up at him. He just stared at her for a moment before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss against her lips. When he pulled away again, her eyes were still closed, eyelids fluttering. Slowly, his finger skimmed the hem of her cami, slowly lifting it up over her shoulders, leaving her bare as a chill ran down her spine, her nipples pebbling at the slight wintry chill in the room.

Oliver just watched her. Her chest rising and falling in steady motions, lips slightly parted. He waited for her to open her eyes. When she did, she closed her mouth and swallowed before melting into him, against his warm chest. Her head barely reached his shoulder, her freezing fingers raising gooseflesh as she pressed them into his skin. Oliver wrapped his arms around her, a silent promise that he would always keep her safe.

They stood like that for a long while, the walls around them crumbling until there was nothing left but just Oliver and Felicity and their love for each other. No vigilante, no five years away, no secrets, no Queen Consolidated. Just a boy who loved a girl and a girl who loved a boy. Even for just a moment.

Felicity ran her fingers over a long scar running diagonally down his abs. The first one. She'd seen it before. touched it before. Gently, she lifted her head off of his chest, her golden curls swishing around her shoulders as she pressed a gentle kiss to his sternum. Oliver let his hands wander down her back, sending a delicious shiver down her spine. She arched into him and looked up, a sad but hopeful expression on her face. With their chests pressed together, Oliver leaned down to kiss her, giving Felicity the height advantage she needed to wrap her arms around his neck. He pulled her into his arms and walked them over to the bed.

He sat down with her in his lap, knees on either side of his hips. Their lips moved against each other rhythmically, deliciously like was so familiar to them. The heat radiating off of his body and the softness of her skin. They'd missed this. Missed each other.

Feeling bold, Oliver moved his hand from the small of her back to cup her through her pajama shorts. His index finger pressed down and Felicity mewled against his mouth, rocking her hips for more friction. Oliver smirked, thinking he had her right where he wanted her, until she unwrapped her arms from around his shoulder and pushed him back against the covers. As he lay on the bed, stunned, completely taken by surprise by her actions, she appeared above him, a devilish grin on her face before disappearing again.

He could hear the swish of fabric against her skin, the soft thud of a drawer opening and closing, and the all too familiar crinkling sound of a silver foil package. But, he managed to stay put, a million thoughts running through his head as her hands fell to his chest, not long before her lips did. A shudder ran through him as her tongue dipped in the creases of his muscles and edged along scars. She quickly undid his belt, slipping his jeans off his hips with only a little assistance. His boxers did nothing to hide his arousal.

Felicity's tongue circled around his hipbone and a second later his boxers were gone too. He shuddered as her small hand fell around his length, slowly rolling the condom down. When she was done, her hands moved up his body and he could feel the bed dip, where she put her knees on either side of his hips. She hovered over him, lips latching onto his before she reached between them where he was pressing against her stomach. Oliver moved his hands over her bare back and sat up. Felicity gasped in surprise, her mouth letting go of his with a pop. Oliver used her surprise to move his lips to her neck, pulling her up with one arm, guiding himself to her entrance with the other. She mewled, her hand falling over his before she slowly sank down on him. So slowly.

Oliver held her close as she adjusted to the his size, the delicious stretch more pleasurable than uncomfortable. With their foreheads pressed together, their labored breaths mingled, only interrupted by the occasional soft kiss.

Felicity ran her fingers through his hair and rolled her hips, biting her lip at the pleasure that rolled through her body. She set a slow rhythm, lifting and rolling her hips as Oliver held her close and kissed her neck. He wasn't sure how long he could take the excruciatingly slow pace before his needs would take over, but Felicity was the one in control, and that sure was a turn on for him. It was nice not being rushed like the last time they'd been together, to be able to take their time touching and loving each other without the imminent threat of separation.

When the rhythm faltered, her hips shaking and her muscles fluttering around him, he held her hips and thrust upward. His free hand slid between them, finding her apex, index-finger rolling around the sensitive little nub there and guiding her over the edge. With a squeaky moan, she collapsed in his arms. Lips pressed to the shell of his ear, she took heavy breaths as she came down from her high. Oliver just held her, kissing his way from her collarbone to her mouth. She hummed in appreciation as their tongues tangled together.

He stayed buried inside her as he wasn't quite there yet himself. Tightening his arms around her he stood up, turning them around and laying her back against the soft chevron-patterned bedding. As he hovered over her, kissing her chest, rolling a sensitive nipple through the warmth of his mouth, she arched her back off the bed, mewling at the new angle.

He let go of her nipple with a pop, latching his mouth back onto hers as he slowly pulled out of her before thrusting back in. Felicity gasped, fingernails digging into his shoulders.

Oliver's hand fell to her thigh, wrapping her leg around his waist. Felicity keened under him as he kept hitting that sweet spot deep inside of her. Oliver was getting close now too. He leaned over her to kiss her again. Felicity took the opportunity to wrap her arms around his shoulders and arching her back to press their chests together. She bit her lips to keep from screaming as her muscles started tightening around him. Her leg around his waist stiffened, and her arms too. Oliver kept moving, chasing their mutual pleasure. Felicity squeaked, mouth falling open in a silent o as she peaked. Her inner walls spasmed around him, tipping him over the edge right behind her. Oliver braced himself over her, elbows on either side of her head as he rode them through their orgasm. Felicity's chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as she came down, hands reaching up to cup his face, pressing a sweet chaste kiss to his lips. Again and again until Oliver, reluctantly, had to pull out of her. He collapsed on top of her. Felicity wrapped his arms around him, welcoming the familiar weight of his body pressed into hers.

They kissed until Felicity's lips were so chapped, her chin red and itchy from the scratch of his stubble that it was almost painful. Oliver pulled himself off of her to throw away the condom, but that wasn't the end of the night for them.

Oliver made sure to worship her body until they passed out in each other's arms from exhaustion and completion, bare limbs tangled together.

* * *

 

 _ **Outfits:**_ [Tommy's proposal](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=183823117), [Felicity on her night off](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=183822414)


	8. We Won't

 

Don't go to war for me  
I'm not the one that you want me to be   
Don't call me up at 2 a.m. tonight   
It feels so damn good and I wish you would   
  
Are we just gonna stay like this forever, floating   
I'm serious, my heart is furious   
Cause I'm so confused when we're together   
Feels like I'm choking, these emotions   
I know I'm gonna let you down   
So don't hold your breath now   
Bittersweet in your mouth   
Can you stomach the doubt?   
I wish I could say what I'm feeling   
I'm scared to let these words out   
  
Don't go to war for me   
I'm not the one that you want me to be   
Don't call me up at 2 a.m. tonight   
It feels so damn good and I wish you would   
And don't cry no more for me   
Don't waste your time convincing me   
That maybe someday we'll get it right   
Cause we never could, I wish that we would   
  
But we won't, so just don't   
We won't, so just don't   
But we won't, so just don't   
Don't

* * *

Felicity woke up deliciously sore. And alone. She stretched out on her side of the bed, hand instinctively reaching for Oliver, only to find his side deserted. The sheets were cold. She opened her eyes, blinking at the brightness of the sunlight her bedroom was bathing in. That’s what you get for being too busy to think of closing your curtains. Reaching for her glasses on her nightstand, she rubbed her eyes and sat up against her pillow. She yawned as she perched the glasses on her nose. That’s when she found the note lying on Oliver’s pillow.

She smiled a little. At least he hadn’t ditched her without a word.

_‘Felicity, I’m sorry I had to leave. I know it’s not an excuse, but there was an emergency that needed my attention. I will make it up to you if you’ll let me._

_Much love, Oliver._

_Ps. Will I see you tonight?’_

Tonight? Felicity frowned in confusion until realization hit her. Frack. Moira’s dinner party. She’d completely forgotten about that. It had been scheduled for weeks, she remembered sending her-- double frack. She remembered sending her father a reminder a week or two ago. Malcolm Merlyn was invited too. She hadn’t seen him in months, purposely avoiding being in his presence. She grunted, scooting down and flipping herself to bury her face in her pillow in frustration.

First, she woke up without Oliver and now this. Great start of the day and she hadn’t even had her coffee yet. She took a moment to accept her fate for the day before she got out of bed, turned on the coffee maker and hopped in the shower.

When she was done and got dressed for a day at the office, the rich smell of the freshly ground coffee beans filled her entire apartment. She sat down at her breakfast bar with a steaming cup of coffee, a cream cheese bagel and the camel colored notebook Walter had given her a couple of days ago.

He’d been acting a little antsy about where the notebook had come from, finally admitting he’d found it in Moira’s stuff. What had freaked him out was the emblem printed on the front. The same emblem he’d gotten angry at her for digging up while he’d told her to stop looking into his wife. Obviously, Felicity hadn’t stopped and as it had turned out, neither had Walter. He’d handed her the notebook a couple of days ago, insisting on the importance of confidentiality. She hadn’t told anyone about her work for Walter, not even Oliver.

She was lost in thought, moving her fingers over the empty pages, sipping on her coffee when her phone rang. Felicity yelped, jumping up at the sudden noise ringing through the apartment. Her mug slipped from her fingers, tipping over and spilling all over the notebook.

“Arghh!” She grunted as the dark liquid splashed onto her hand. It was hot, but luckily it didn’t burn her.

“Oh frack!” She cursed, pulling the notebook out of the little pool of coffee that had formed and laying it to the side to dry as she reached for a cloth to clean up the mess. When she was done, she grabbed the notebook to let it drip out over the sink. That’s when she noticed it.

“Holy crap.” She whispered as she thumbed through the pages, a seemingly endless list of names appearing before her eyes. The heat of the coffee must have affected the ink that was used to write down all those names. Felicity swallowed, put the dripping notebook in a plastic bag and raced down to the Queen Consolidated offices to figure out what other names were in the notebook, her bagel completely forgotten.

 

* * *

“Felicity, I hope this is of some importance, I have a lot of work to get done before the dinner party tonight.” Walter muttered, slight hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Well, I guess that depends on how you define important, then.” She retorted.

That made Walter put away his stack of paperwork and look up at her.

“See, most people would consider finding a list of names written in subsonic ultraviolet invisible ink important.”

Felicity shrugged upon seeing Walter’s confusion stricken face.

“What are you doing?” He asked as she moved to turn off the lights in his office.

“It needs to be dark in here for me to do this.”

She shook her head quickly, cringing at her own use of words. “If I had had more time to think of that sentence it wouldn't have sounded so dirty.”

“Look.” She said, pointing at the notebook.

Walter frowned. “I don't see anything.”

Nodding, Felicity handed him a pair of high-tech sci-fi looking glasses. “I got these from applied sciences.”

Eyebrows knitted together, Walter took the glasses from her and perched them on his nose.

“They're able to pick up the subvisible variations in the UV spectrum.” Felicity explained.

She reached over to press the ‘on’ button on the glasses and gestured at the pages. “Now look at the book again.”

Felicity barely heard the gasp that escaped from Walter’s lips, but it was definitely there.

“I went over this list at least a dozen times before I came here, there doesn’t seem to be anything connecting these people except some pretty shady activities in their spare time. But, at least 7 of the names on the list are guys the vigilante's had in his crosshairs. That is, if bows had crosshairs.”

Felicity had gone over the list, scanning the pages into her computer and trying to find a connection between these people. Except from the few people Oliver had targeted as the vigilante, she hadn’t been able to come up with a link. It bugged her endlessly, just like the emblem on the front of the booklet. Mysteries needed to be solved.

“Which they don't, by the way.” She muttered.

Walter thumbed through the pages, eyes lighting up a little whenever he seemed to recognize a name. “Well, it is a rather long list, Felicity, so I would expect there to be some overlap.”

In a last attempt to find at least something before going to Walter with what she’d found, she’d cross referenced the list of names with QC employees, only one match, and considering the rest of the people on the pages weren’t exactly premium human beings, she felt she should bring it to Walter’s attention.

“Like Doug Miller. Head of Applied Sciences at Queen Consolidated.” Felicity said.

He looked up from the notebook and frowned at her. “What of him?”

“Mr. Miller may end up getting an arrow in his stocking, because he's on the list.” Felicity said, tongue darting out to wet her lips before she crossed her arms over her chest.

“So, important or not?” She asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

 

* * *

For once, Oliver Queen was on time for something. Early even. He parked his bike in the garage at the mansion and hurried down the hall to greet his mother’s guests. He’d changed into his tux at the steel factory and he was sure his mother would complain about the wrinkles his bike had left in the material. Casually, he walked down the hallway and into the foyer, immediately scanning the room for that streak of gold. She wasn’t here.

He continued his search in the living room, a relieved breath of air filling his chest as he laid eyes on the familiar golden tresses. The curls danced around her shoulders as she laughed at a joke Thea made. She wore a sleek powdery pink skirt that swirled down to her toned calves, hugging her curves in all the right places and a black crop top that elegantly bared her shoulders and contrasted perfectly with her pale skin. Oliver couldn’t stop his mouth from watering at the sight. It was the smile she sent him when she looked over her shoulder that was his undoing.

He tried to return the smile, but it probably ended up looking like an awkward all-teeth grin. Swallowing down the lump of adoration in his throat, Oliver walked around the room to greet her.

“Hi.” He murmured when he walked up to her, hand immediately finding her back.

She smiled sweetly, her cheeks blushing just a bit. “Hi.”

Thea instantly made her escape. “What’s that, Mom? You need help deciding between the Malbec and the Cabernet? Sure I’ll taste them for you.” She said, overly dramatic.

Felicity raised an eyebrow at the teenager, chuckling a little as Thea hurried past her. Over Felicity’s shoulder, Oliver watched his sister turn around in her exit, widening her eyes in emphasis as she mouthed ‘go get her’ at him, fingers pointing at Felicity. Oliver took a deep breath and turned back to the love of his life.

“I’m glad you came.” He said with a soft smile.

She chuckled, ducking her head, a mischievous grin on her face when she looked back up.

“I certainly did… last night.”

Oliver let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. “About that…”

Felicity’s face fell, laughter immediately fading, much to Oliver’s displeasure. Her laugh was the most beautiful sound in the world, he never wanted it to stop.

“… I’m sorry I had to leave.” He whispered. “I really didn’t want to, but Dig was in trouble and I had to go help him.”

Felicity sighed, nodding slowly before her hand came up to his chest, smoothing over the lapel of his jacket, gaze following her fingers just so she didn’t have to look him in the eye for a moment.

“I get it. Your life is complicated. I’m not mad at you.” She muttered.

He reached up to hold her upper arms, thumbs gently stroking the supple skin. “Felicity, I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think that this was just a one-time thing, that’s not what I want.”

That caught her attention. The grip on his lapel tightened and her head snapped up, blue eyes instantly meeting his, boring into his soul.

“Then what do you want?” She whispered.

The question lingered in the air between them. He wanted her. Only her. But he couldn’t say that now could he? That would be selfish. She’d made it abundantly clear that ‘They’ weren’t happening as long as he was running around in green leather every night. They were standing closer than he’d thought they had been, breaths mixing together as they stared at each other. There was only the two of them, standing so close to each other that it couldn’t be anything but intimate. Not that they cared about giving all these middle-aged to senior people a show. Only for the spell to be broken by none other than Felicity’s father, Malcolm Merlyn.

“Felicity! Daughter dear, how lovely to see you here. I was beginning to think you were ignoring my calls.”

Felicity quickly let go of Oliver, instantly putting a respectable distance between them. She had been avoiding her father, but she wasn’t gonna tell him that. She could’ve been dead in a ditch somewhere and he wouldn’t know until at least a month later, that’s how attentive a parent he was and Felicity had just made it a little easier for him because frankly, she was sick and tired of him and what he thought was ‘good parenting’.

“Sorry, Dad.” She walked over to greet him, lightly pecking him on the cheek before moving back to her safe spot next to Oliver. “I’ve just been really slammed at work, you understand, don’t you?”

Work had, for as long as Felicity could remember, been Malcolm’s priority in life, and she didn’t shy away from using it against him. Not at all.

Malcolm let out a laugh. “Don’t let those Queens make you work too hard, darling.”

“Just doing my job, Dad.” Felicity said, rolling her eyes. She didn’t feel like getting into the discussion of her coming back to work for Merlyn Global. They’d had that conversation every other month and thus far Felicity had never agreed. She liked her job at Queen Consolidated, her boss wasn’t a complete asshole like her father and it made her feel independent. She’d paid for her own apartment, her car. Frankly, she didn’t want her father’s money, so she wouldn’t change her mind about the position he’d tried to offer her time and time again now. He could raise the pay, or the status all he wanted, she would not be associated with Merlyn Global other than her name.

Luckily for her, it was time for dinner. Moira gestured everyone into the dining room, being the gracious hostess that she was. Oliver tried to offer Felicity his arm, but her father got to her first. She couldn’t deny him that too, reluctantly placing her hand in the crook of his elbow, shooting an apologetic glance over her shoulder at Oliver.

 

* * *

“All joking aside, Commissioner, crime is down for the first time in 5 years.” Malcolm said from across the table, taking a sip of his wine.

Dinner itself  was pretty uneventful up until now. Felicity laughed at the mediocre jokes of the middle aged men in need of a confidence boost and listened intently to the talk about how Starling City had been run down over the years, a fraction of the once so proud city it was. It was fairly easy not to interact with her father. Moira and her place-cards had saved her from that horror. He sat across from her, but she had Oliver at her side.

“That's because of the changes my department has implemented.” Commissioner Nudocerdo said while cutting into another piece of beef.

“Or perhaps it's because the vigilante's activities have had a chilling effect on the city's criminals.”

“What are your thoughts, Oliver?” Malcolm asked.

Oliver shrugged. “I think the vigilante needs a better code name than ‘The Hood’ or ‘The Hood Guy’.”

Next to him, Felicity chuckled, stealing a glance at him before taking another bite of her sweet potatoes.

Malcolm’s gaze moved from his daughter to Oliver and back, squinting a little in suspicion. “I agree.” He said, before pursing his lips in thought.

“How about Green Arrow?” He proposed after a second.

Felicity snorted. “Lame.”

A rumble of laughter buzzed among the guests, but the amusement faded quickly when one of Nudocerdo’s lieutenants appeared in the doorway. The table went quiet instantly, glances were exchanged, between Oliver and Felicity too. She reached for her wine as the commissioner motioned the lieutenant to come over.

“I'm sorry.” He said after hearing the news. “Something's come up.”

He put his napkin on his plate and stood up, gently squeezing his wife’s shoulder in apology.

“Is everything okay?” Oliver asked.

The commissioner took a deep breath and shook his head. “The vigilante has struck again. He just put an arrow in Adam Hunt.”  

The guests started murmuring, contemplating who would be next with no regard for Mr. Hunt himself. That should have said something in itself. As the commissioner thanked Moira for dinner and walked out of the room, Oliver’s phone started buzzing. Felicity looked up at him, knowing that this wasn’t a coincidence at all. She nodded shortly in encouragement.

“I really do need to take this call.” Oliver apologized to his mother.

“It's my contractor.” He lied.

“Of course.” Moira said with a soft smile, putting a hand on Oliver’s forearm.

He smiled back at her before leaning over to Felicity and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll call you later okay?” He whispered in her ear.

She nodded quickly, smiling up at him sweetly

“Excuse me.” He said, walking out of the room to take the call.

Felicity watched him disappear, concern written all over her face. She sighed and turned back to her food. That’s when she felt his eyes on her, watching her. Tentatively, she moved her gaze up to meet her father’s icy cool gaze scrutinizing her every move and expression. His eyes narrowed as he watched her closely. Felicity could feel her cheeks turn red in both embarrassment and agitation, but she couldn’t do anything about it. Not now.

Instead, she swallowed her pride along with the tenderly cooked meat Raisa had prepared and braced herself for what the rest of the night had yet to bring.

 

* * *

_**Outfits:**_ [Felicity at dinner](http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_with_you_chapter/set?id=186005430)


	9. Please Come Home

_I tell the world_  
_I'm doing better now_  
_Tell all the girls_  
_They could all come over now_  
_I tell my friends_  
_That I am fine without her_  
_But it's Christmas night and i'm all alone_  
  
_No one night stand_  
_Slept on the couch again_  
_A ladies' man_  
_But not with you inside my head_  
_I stood her up_  
_The tears were running down my face_  
_Called her up and I cancelled my date_  
_Too scared for a new and female embrace_  
  
_So would you please come home_  
_Turn up all the lights_  
_Would you please come home_  
_Return and make things right_  
_This fool knows what he's missing since you've been gone_  
_It's Christmas night, would you please come home_  
_Would you please come home_

* * *

 

The ding of the elevator pulled him out of his thoughts. The door slid open on the 18th floor, busy personnel walking across the hall blocking his view of her office. clutching the plastic tube under his arm a little tighter, he stepped out of the mechanic cart, almost bumping into a woman with three boxes of files in her hands, stacked on top of each other so she could barely see where she was going. A curious frown on his face he stepped into Jerry's -Felicity executive assistant- office.

"Good morning, Mister Queen."  Jerry greeted him, instantly recognizing him from the countless times he'd visited Felicity for lunch and probably because of the little fact that his family owned the company the guy worked for.

"Morning, Jerry. Is it alright if I go in?"

Jerry nodded. "Miss Merlyn is just finishing up on a conference call but she told me, and I quote: “Oliver is allowed inside at any given time."

Oliver smirked.  "That's great to hear." At the time, Felicity probably hadn't even realized the terrible double entendre she'd just made. Or maybe she had. Or maybe his mind was in the gutter and whenever he thought about her his brain turned to mush and turned everything disgustingly sexual. However, he wouldn't mind doing the aforementioned dirty things his mind concocted with her again anytime soon. They needed to talk first, lay some ground rules, communicate their feelings. That was important if they ever wanted to make it out of the 'are we gonna? or shouldn't we?'-phase they were currently stuck in. They’d tried to have that very conversation at the dinner party a few days ago but got rudely interrupted by none other than ‘Father of the year’ award winner, Malcolm Merlyn. Note the sarcasm.

Oliver smiled at Jerry again and pushed through the glass door. Felicity didn’t notice him coming in, completely focused on the conversation she was having -in Spanish from what Olive gathered- while scribbling keynotes on a notepad, phone lodged between her shoulder and cheek. He sauntered around her office for a bit, her voice talking rapidly a background buzz as he trailed his fingers along some picture frames and little knick-knacks she'd put on the coffee-table and cabinets. He lingered on a golden frame encasing a black and white photograph of when he couldn’t have been older than ten. Sitting together on a tire swing at the Queen’s summer home in the French Riviera, looking at each other as they swing back and forth while Robert pushes them. Her hair was still brunette, bright pink frames perched on her nose, a big smile with an even bigger gap where her two front teeth were missing on her face. He’s smiling too, of course he is. He’s having the time of his still short life. Sometimes Oliver wishes he could go back to those, simpler times. He would go through everything from puberty, to heartbreak, to stupidity all over again if it meant he would have more time with Felicity.

With a sigh, he put down the frame he hadn’t realized he’d picked up in the first place and turned to look at Felicity. She’s hung up the phone, the sudden silence deafening, hanging between them as she’s writing very important corporate stuff on her notepad. Some of her hair has fallen loose from the makeshift half up-do she put in her hair, the pencil sticking out of her bun. She hadn’t stopped working long enough for her to realize his presence. He watched her for a moment before walking over to her desk.

“Hey.” He murmured, watching her curiously.

Felicity jumped in her chair, dropping her pen as a hand comes up to cover her rapidly beating heart. “Don't you knock?” She glowered at him.

Oliver just chuckled. “Felicity, this is the I.T. department. It's not the ladies room.” He paused for a moment, pointing behind him. “Also you have glass doors.”

She shook her head a little, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Right.”

Shifting in her seat, crossing her legs and straightening her back she perched her head in her hands, elbows resting on her desk, looking up sweetly at him. “What can I do for you today Mr. Queen?”

Oliver was quiet for a moment, a little sigh escaping from his lips before he spoke. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you like I promised. Things got a little hectic at my night job.”

Felicity’s face fell, but she nodded. “I understand. You don’t have to apologize.”

“How are you?” Oliver asked.

“Good. Busy. Trying to wrap up projects before the holidays. The office is getting a make-over before the new year so that’s why everyone is running around like headless chicken out there.”

Oliver nodded. “I noticed, almost got run over by a lady carrying her weight in files.”

Chuckling, Felicity ran a hand through her hair.

“Would you have time for a small extra project? I really need your expertise.” He asked.

Felicity looked at him curiously, pursing her lips. “What have you got there?”

Oliver raised his eyebrows and held up the tube he was holding. “My buddy Steve is really into archery all of a sudden.”

Felicity couldn’t hold back the chuckle, quickly pressing her lips together to keep herself from completely losing it. What was wrong with her, it wasn’t even that funny. Maybe it was the irony of this ridiculous story Oliver had come up with, or the very serious face he pulled while trying to convince her.

“Apparently it's all the rage now.” Oliver smirked at her.

Felicity composed herself and blew out a huff of air, rolling her eyes. “I don't know why, it looks utterly ridiculous to me.” She said overdramatically.

Oliver’s face contorted in mock-hurt. “Low blow, Merlyn.”

She laughed, crossing her arms and reclining in her seat in victory.

“Anyway, it's Steve's birthday next weekend, and I wanted to buy him some arrows. The thing is, he gets these special custom-made arrows, and I have no idea where he gets them. I was hoping you could find out where this came from.”

Felicity sighed and shook her head. “First of all, your lies are terrible, I don’t know how you passed that polygraph. You’re really gonna have to come up with better excuses. And second, of course I can, have you met me?”

“Well, honestly I’m still getting to know this MIT-graduate slash computer genius version of you.”

“Alright I’ll give you that.” She teased. “Now, show me your goods… I mean…”

Oliver smiled at the way she scrunched up her nose as soon as she realized what she’d just said. The little crinkle between her eyebrows and her cheeks turning red.

She sighed and put a hand over her face in embarrassment. “Just give me the damn arrow.”

With an amused expression on his face, Oliver screwed the top lid off of the tube, reaching inside and gracefully unsheathing the matte black arrow. It was heavier than the kind he custom made, which meant the copycat most likely used a compound bow instead of a recurve like he did.

“Careful.” He murmured as he handed it to Felicity.

She glanced at him, narrowing her eyes a little bit. “Yeah.”

Leaning in close, glancing over the top of her glasses, she twisted the arrow between her fingers. Felicity examined the arrow in her hands closely before moving her attention to her computer. Meanwhile Oliver moved to stand next to her to see what she was doing. One of his hands on the back of her chair, the other on her desk so he could lean in close, his face only inches from hers. He could smell her perfume and had to try really hard not to get distracted.

“The shaft's composite is patented. I recognize the material.” Felicity said while typing. “And that patent is registered to a company called Sagittarius.”

She turned her head to look at Oliver. “That's Latin for the archer.”

“Really?” Oliver huffed sarcastically. “Could you find out where and when this was purchased?”

Felicity nodded, typing away at her keyboard. “According to Sagittarius company records, that particular arrow was part of a bundle shipment.”

Reaching for her notepad she ripped of a page and scribbled something down. “Sent to this address.” She said, handing the piece of paper to Oliver.

Oliver huffed, thoroughly impressed. “Felicity, You're truly remarkable.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you for remarking on it.”

They stared at each other for a moment, their faces still mere inches apart. A smile curled around Oliver’s lips as he searched the blue of her eyes. For what, he wasn’t sure.

“Will I see you tonight at the Christm— Holiday party?” He asked in a whisper.

She nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Oliver took one of her hands in his and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Thank you for your help. I’ll see you tonight, then.”

“See you tonight.” Felicity echoed, watching him walk out of her office.

“Oh! And Oliver…” She called out.

He spun around on his heels at the sound of his name, door handle already in his hand.

“Don’t you dare bail on me again.” Felicity said sternly.

 

* * *

 

The Queen Mansion was eloquently decorated. There were garlands wrapped around the staircases and banisters, beautiful Christmas trees in your line of sight no matter where you looked. It felt warm, warmer than it had in a long while. She suddenly was very glad Oliver had convinced the family to have this decadent party. They hadn't 'properly' celebrated the holidays in a long while. While she admired the decorations, a crisply dressed man she knew was part of tonight's staff asked for her coat. That sort of snapped her out of her stun.

“Yes, thank you Matthew.” She said absentmindedly.

Coatless, she started making rounds, greeting people she knew from the office, long-time family friends or acquaintances of her father and smile through every older lady who pinched her cheek and told her 'Oh look how much you've grown up. You've become such a beautiful young woman.' She gracefully thanked each and every one of them. Some people asked her about her father’s whereabouts, to which she casually shrugged, unsure of what he was up to these days and quickly changed the subject.

When she reached the open bar she asked for a martini –an extra strong one-, taking small sips of the drink while she watched the people move around the ballroom. Some were dancing to the music of the string quartet, most were talking to old friends or making new friends. The Queens had truly outdone themselves with this party. They were known for hosting tremendous parties and gala’s, but there was something about this one that made it extra special. Maybe because Oliver was home. Most likely.

It wasn't long before she spotted Tommy and Laurel. They were intimately curled around each other at the edge of the dancefloor, probably whispering inappropriate things to each other to see who was the first one to blush. Tommy one time told her they played that game a lot during boring gala’s and work functions. In this particular game, Laurel was losing. If you could call having an engagement ring that sparkled all the way across 2000 square foot ballroom, losing. They looked so happy together, it made her heart ache a little.

Where the hell was Oliver? He’d promised he’d be here. 

 

* * *

 

“Is everyone having a good time?” He asked when he ran into Diggle on his way from the garage to the party. He ran a hand through his helmet hair and straightened his tie. He was already late to his own party, way to be a gracious host. He had a good reason of course, but he doubted almost being blown up in an attempt to track down a serial killer would go over well with his family.

“You sure you want to do this, man?” His confidant countered. “Maybe now is not the best time for you to be Martha Stewart's elf.”

“My family needs this party, Diggle. Which means that I need it.” Oliver said, giving the other man a stern look. He wasn’t budging on this. Even if the copycat archer was still out there, there was nothing Oliver could about it now that the guy was hiding.

With Diggle flanking him, Oliver walked through the beautifully decorated hallways towards the ballroom. A fake smile plastered on his face as he quickly greeted his guests. He was looking for one guest in particular.

She was standing with his family, laughing. God, she was beautiful. The long red dress accentuating her curves, the color a stark contrast against her porcelain skin. Her golden curls fell effortlessly around her bare shoulders. Oliver felt his mouth water, a fire set alight low in his stomach. This wasn’t the time for that.

Plastering a smile on his face, he walked up to his family. “Wow, You guys look great.”  He said, greeting everyone. Walter got a firm handshake, his mother a peck on the cheek and Thea a tight hug and a kiss to the top of her head. And Felicity? He wanted to kiss her, really, really badly, but that may turn into something inappropriate sooner rather than later and that wouldn’t be the best idea in front of his family. He turned to her, gaze meeting hers as they exchanged a loaded look. A small smile tugged at his lips as he reached for her hand, easily lacing their fingers together.

“Hi. Sorry I’m late.” He murmured to her. Felicity smiled back at him and shook her head a little.

“You smell of smoke.” She observed. Oliver didn’t say anything so she sighed and patted his shoulder. “At least you’re here.”

Oliver sighed and nodded, meeting her gaze again, this time a little more intensity in his eyes. “Happy Hanukah.” He said.

A smile spread on Felicity’s face. “Merry Christmas.”

He smiled, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. They were standing extremely close to each other. Way closer than any two friends respecting each other’s personal space. Breaking eye-contact with her, Oliver turned to their spectators.

“Merry Christmas, everyone.” He said cheerily.

“Merry Christmas, Oliver.” Moira said with a soft smile.

 “Let's get a holiday photo.” He proposed, waving over the photographer they’d hired for the occasion. He immediately came over, eager to please his employer

Moira tilted her head a little. “I already sent out our Christmas cards, Oliver.”

Oliver turned to his mother. “Mom,” he started, softening his gaze. “Let's get a picture just for us.”

They exchanged a long, loaded look. In his peripheral vision he could see Felicity’s eyes moving from one to the other, a tiny wrinkle of confusion between her eyebrows.  

“Of course.” Moira finally said after what seemed like ages but was actually just a few seconds. Thea rolled her eyes as the family all lined up. Walter, Moira, Thea, Oliver and Felicity, all smiling their well-practiced million dollar paparazzi smile.

The flash went off, blinding him for barely a second. Involuntarily, he squeezed Felicity’s waist a little tighter. He turned to look at her as the picture was being taken, saw her smile. He could barely believe his luck. The moment was over way too soon and Oliver let go of her waist. They thanked the photographer and the family quietly went their separate ways until there was just the two of them left. And a ballroom full of party guests.

Oliver turned to Felicity, offering her his hand. “Can I have this dance?”

She smiled shyly. “If that means we can finally talk.”

Taking his hand, she let him lead her to the dancefloor. He spun her around, making her chuckle before placing a hand on her lower back and pulling her closer. He could hear her breath hitch as their faces were once again inches apart. Felicity looked up at him with those beautiful blue eyes, a hand coming up to rest on his shoulder as their free hands entwined. She rested her forehead against his temple as they gracefully swayed across the hardwood.

“Why do you do it?” She murmured after a minute.

She didn’t need to explain what she was talking about. The elephant in green leather. The thing that had been keeping them apart. Oliver sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He knew this was coming, as it should because it was important for them to discuss if they wanted any form of a relationship.

“My father didn’t drown.” He whispered. Felicity froze. Oliver tightened his grip on her to stop her from reacting harshly.

 Taking a deep breath, he continued. “He made it onto the life raft. There weren’t enough supplies for both of us to make it. He sacrificed himself so that I could live.”

Felicity craned her head so that she could look at him, tears in her eyes. “Oliver, I’m so sorry.”

“There’s more.” He said, swallowing hard. “Before he died he told me he had failed this city and begged me to right his wrongs.”

Looking away, leaning into his shoulder, Felicity nodded.

“That’s why I’m doing it.” Oliver stated. He lead her across the dancefloor in comfortable silence as she processed the newfound information. From experience, he knew she liked to mull things over so she could react without overreacting. If you looked close enough, and knew her as well as Oliver did, you could practically see the wheels turning.

“Oliver, I…” She started, getting interrupted by the buzzing of Oliver’s phone. They exchanged a look, Oliver apologetic and Felicity allowing before he reached inside his jacket and pulled out his phone to look at the news alert. Hostage situation. The copycat archer was calling him out. If he didn’t show up, those people would be killed.

He sighed. “I have to go.”

Felicity diverted her eyes, bowing her head in defeat.

“Go.” She whispered, slowly stepping away from him. “We’ll talk later.”

Everything inside of him screamed that she was not okay with this, that he should stay and be with her instead. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let those people die.

“Felicity…” He wanted to say something, anything that could make this better, but he was bailing on her again. He was putting her in second place again and she knew it.

She shook her head, turned on her heel and walked away.

 

* * *

 

Felicity wasn't sure what to think when she finally got the chance to return Walter's call. Her phone had been buzzing in her purse on the passenger seat while she'd been driving home.  She'd been too caught up in her own thoughts to even notice. How she got home safe without getting in a car accident was a mystery to her. When she'd finally thrown herself onto her bed, nuzzling into the down comforter with her feet as far from the floor as possible -her shoes kept pinching her toes if she stood still for too long-  she reached for her phone.

The three missed calls on her display were anything but what she'd expected. She'd expected an apologetic text from Oliver for ditching her at the party -his own party, the one that was his initiative- or some cheeky message with hidden innuendos from Tommy about how he and Laurel would have a WONDERFUL time without her. She rolled her eyes at the thought alone. Sitting up, wiggling a little in her tight dress, she dialed Walter's number.

"Walter, hi! You called me three times is everything alright?" She asked immediately when he picked up after the fourth ring.

"I'm alright.” He assured her. “It's about Oliver, actually."

"What?! Why? What happened?" She demanded, suddenly not at all tired anymore.

"I don't know the exact details but he had a crash with his motorbike. He's at Starling General right now." Walter explained.

"Is it bad?" Felicity asked, a little afraid to hear the answer.

"He's gonna be alright, few bruised ribs, some cuts and a hairline fracture in his wrist that was probably more so caused by his time on the island but nothing permanent.”

She sighed in relief. "Oh thank god. I gotta go see him. Thank you so much for calling me, Walter."

"No problem, dear. I know how much you care for him."

She sighed again, a little softer this time, almost wistful. A tiny hint of a smile creeped up on her lips. She just couldn't help it. Whenever she thought about Oliver, she felt butterflies in her stomach. It was stupid, she was well aware, and she was insane for letting herself feel for him the way she did. He spent his nights hunting down criminals, risking his life, and it would only end in heartbreak.

"I'm about to step into an elevator, so I might lose you. I'll talk to you on Monday at the office alright?" He said

"Yes, thanks again, Walter. See you on Monday."

"Have a good weekend, Dear."

Letting a huff of air escape from her lips, she hung up the phone. It seemed she couldn't quite put her comfy PJ's on and binge-watch Doctor Who just yet. With a groan, she pushed herself off the bed, grabbed her purse and coat and walked out the door.

 

* * *

 

“It wasn’t really a motorcycle accident was it?” A quiet voice asked.

Oliver’s eyes snapped open and slowly he rolled onto his back to look at the doorway. Despite the ridiculously high heels she was wearing he hadn’t heard her walking down the hall. She was still in the gorgeous long red dress she’d worn to the party earlier that night. If Diggle hadn’t stepped out to get himself some disgusting hospital coffee he’d been making fun of the love-struck expression Oliver had on his face at the mere sight of her right now. His family’s Christm—err, Holiday  party. The party that he’d bailed on. A wave of regret washed over him. He’d promised her a nice night but his self-imposed duty as the vigilante had come between that. He quickly swallowed down the lump in his throat as he shook his head.

“No, it wasn’t.”

Felicity sighed and nodded before looking down at her fidgeting hands. She leaned against the doorframe, a light from behind creating a halo around her head. He couldn’t make this stuff up if he tried. Maybe it was the morphine and the three bruised ribs talking, but she looked like an angel.

“Can I come in?” She asked hesitantly, blue eyes meeting his as she gestured at the room.

Oliver nodded, squaring his jaw at the twinge in his neck. “Of course.”

Felicity closed the door behind her, closing the distance between her and Oliver with slow and unsure steps. Her knuckles were white from how tightly she’s holding her clutch. Her dark red bottom lip tucked between her teeth. Oliver lightly patted the bed next to him.

“You just missed the family.” He said, voice a little hoarse.

Nodding, Felicity sat down on the edge of the hospital bed, immediately reaching for his hand, wrapping both of her own around the calloused pads. Her fingers felt cold to the touch from the brisk December night air. He’d had worse, didn’t even flinch.

“We keep getting interrupted.” Felicity muttered, looking down at their entwined hands.

She was right. Every time they tried to discuss them and their future as a couple, something got in the way. That was partly his fault.

“I’m sorry.” Oliver said, huffing out a breath of air.

Felicity looked up, meeting his eyes again. A sad smile tugged at her lips. It didn’t reach her eyes.

“I was going to ask you to stop, you know.” She sighed.

Oliver didn’t respond, he just watched the wheels turning behind her eyes. She was nervous, he could sense it. She could barely look at him or sit still for that matter, playing with her hair or alternating her grasp on his hand. She’s quiet for a long time, the only sound in the room the noises from the streets outside and the soft beeping from one of the monitors Oliver was hooked up on. When she finally did speak, she had to clear her throat.

“I thought this was all about revenge, or penance for your father’s sins. Because there are other ways to do that. Better ways.” Her tongue darted out to wet her lips.

Oliver’s jaw clenched a little but he squeezed her hand reassuringly, encouraging her to continue getting whatever it is, off her chest.

“But I realized that would be incredibly selfish of me.” She sighed again and looked at him.

He frowned, opening his mouth to say something, but he stopped himself, letting her explain.

Felicity smiled softly, tilting her head just a little. “I you didn’t do what you do, those hostages would be dead right now. You saved their lives. To them, you’re a hero--”

“I’m not a hero.” He cut her off, shaking his head.

“I agree.” She nodded slowly before looking him in the eye. “But I think you could be. You could make a real change. Be someone the city can look up to. A kind of guardian angel.”

Oliver sighed. “Felicity…”

“I’m not going to ask you to choose between being with me and being the hood, or the arrow or the vigilante or whatever you’re called.” She assured him.

One of her hands reached out to cup his cheek. Just like she used to do when they were younger. “All I ask is that you be careful out there because I wanna be with you and I can’t bury you again, you hear me.”

He could she the tears stinging behind her eyes and she tried to blink them away. This was still a very sore subject. Oliver leaned over, weaving his fingers through her hair and pressed his lips to her. For a moment, Felicity stiffened with surprise before humming against his lips and melting under his touch.

“And be honest with me.” She asked breathlessly. “Because those cover stories you tried to feed me were totally laughable. Promise me.”

“I promise.” Oliver whispered, kissing her again.

“And…” She trailed off with his lips against her neck.

Oliver pulled away to look at her when she paused. Shaking her head a little Felicity draped her arms around his neck. Careful of his bruised ribs, she scooted a little closer and melted into him with a sigh.

“I’m just gonna shut up now.”

Oliver laughs and closes the distance between their lips once again. From now on, he was going to take every opportunity to kiss her by the collar and do it. No more wasting time. No more pining. She was his and he was hers. As it should be.

* * *

 

[outfits](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/collection?.locale=nl&id=3979393)


	10. I Feel It Coming

_Tell me what you really like_  
_Baby I can take my time_  
_We don't ever have to fight_  
_Just take it step-by-step_  
_I can see it in your eyes_  
_Cause they never tell me lies_  
_I can feel that body shake_  
_And the heat between your legs_  
  
_You've been scared of love and what it did to you_  
_You don't have to run, I know what you've been through_  
_Just a simple touch and it can set you free_  
_We don't have to rush when you're alone with me_  
  
_I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe_  
_I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe_  
_I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe_  
_I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe_

 

* * *

 

Walter was missing. Police had been searching for him for weeks, tracing his steps, questioning the family, and Felicity, who was the last person he’s spoken to. His disappearance put a damper on Oliver’s speedy recovery. Oliver was up and running across rooftop within a week of his ‘motorcycle accident’, looking for clues connected to his step-fathers possible kidnapping. There was nothing, only dead ends. Felicity had been worried sick those first few nights she didn’t have him safely tucked into her bed. Thankfully, she always woke up with her head pillowed on his chest. They spent New Year’s Eve with the family, drank lots of champagne and reminisced about their first kiss on the back porch of the Queen Mansion eight years ago.

Weeks flew by, Thea’s birthday passed, any hope for Walter’s resurfacing fading, and they settled into an easy routine, spending the maximum amount of time together. After all, they had a lot of lost time to make up for. It was wonderful, for the most part, because as Oliver’s ribs healed, and he got more mobile, he randomly disappeared more often than not, leaving Felicity wondering if she’d see him again. The thing that consoled her was that whatever time they did have together, was spent optimally and intimately. They would at least have had that if everything would go to shit.

Most nights were spent at Felicity’s place. It was easier to sneak into after patrolling the glades or taking down common thieves and criminals of the week. Sometimes, they’d sleep at the Queen Mansion. The family was near and dear to Felicity too, so it wasn’t at all awkward or surprising or even unexpected when suddenly she started staying the night regularly. Her relationship with Oliver had always been inevitable.

Last night had been one of the nights they’d stayed at the Mansion. Felicity liked it because Oliver’s bed was so much more comfortable and soft than hers. And bigger too. More space for adventurous activities like the ones they’d partaken in the night before. She blushed a little just thinking about it.

Oliver had decided not to go on patrol last night, to Felicity’s relief and they spent their night cuddled up in front of the fire, watching TV. Oliver had a lot of pop culture to catch up with.

When Felicity woke up sore that morning, she ran her fingers through his hair, his head pillowed on her chest, his breath fanning out across her collarbone. Oliver’s arms were draped around her waist, their legs entwined. The room was getting warmed up by the sunlight peeking through the curtains. She couldn’t imagine being more comfortable as she was in that moment.

Too bad she had to get to work. Glancing at the clock, she cursed under her breath. She was already running late. Carefully, she wriggled herself free from Oliver’s embrace, even though she really didn’t want to. Before she got out of bed, she pressed a kiss to his temple and ran her fingers through his hair. He looked so peaceful as he slept, like he never went through five years of trauma and was twenty one years old again. Sometimes she missed those carefree days, but they couldn’t live like that forever. She would’ve never gone to college and would have never moved out from under her father’s thumb. They would’ve never grown into the people they are today, and she wasn’t sure if they would be better off that way.

With a sigh, she slid out of bed and headed into the bathroom to hop into the shower.

“How does a night with me and a dozen famous chefs sound?” Was the first thing she heard when she came back into the bedroom, towel draped around her body, hair wet and cheeks rosy from the heat of the shower. Oliver had woken up and was sitting up against the headboard, tablet in his hands and the sheets barely doing anything to cover him up. Not that he needed to cover up, she very much liked staring at his body, scars and all, he was beautiful.

Felicity snorted, walking over to the dresser that was filled with some of her clothes and underwear just in case. “Like an episode of The Bachelor.”

She picked out a set of undergarments and one of her favorite dresses and turned around to look at him.

“I'm auditioning potential chefs for the restaurant. I've arranged a tasting and I could use an extra set of taste buds.” Oliver said, looking up from his tablet. He’d figured out how to work with it way quicker than she’d expected.

“Oliver, I wish I could but I have to help your mom with the Unidac merger.” She sighed, dropping her towel and putting on her underwear. She could see Oliver’s pupils dilate from across the room. She wasn’t gonna lie, she enjoyed teasing him.

“Perfect, it sounds like hungry work.” He chuckled. “Tonight? Maybe we could do it early?”

She put her hands on her hips and sauntered over to him, sitting down on the edge of the bed, tucking one leg under her and leaning in. “Fine.” She whispered. “But this better be good, Oliver.”

“I promise.” He said, closing the distance between their lips. Felicity purred into his mouth, draping an arm across his shoulders but had to quickly pull back.

She smirked and got up to finish getting dressed. Oliver gladly watched her walk away. She blow-dried her hair, did her make-up, put on her dress and her shoes and grabbed her bag all in the span of twenty minutes.

When she was ready, she returned to Oliver’s bedside. “I'll see you later.” She murmured, pecking him sweetly on the lips.

“Bye.” He whispered, smile on his face.

She winked over her shoulder as she headed out the door. Or at least she tried to wink, she hadn’t completely gotten the hang of it yet. She sighed, she had a long day ahead of her, with Walter missing, Queen Consolidated had turned into something reminiscent of a chicken coup and. Moira had taken over the helm of the company and Felicity was assigned to help her in any way possible. That, on top of her regular work, was really taking a toll on her. She noticed she started forgetting things, being late for meetings and  mixing up important files. She had to get it together, one way or another.

* * *

 

Before going in, Felicity sat in her car, staring at the tan little notebook in her hands, readying herself for what was to come. She wasn’t sure how Oliver was going to react, or if this list of names was even that important, so why was she so nervous? She could trust him.

Taking a deep breath, she picked herself up and put the notebook back in her bag. She got out of her car and headed into the ‘almost completely remodeled steel factory’. She was really proud of how much progress Oliver had made with the space in just a few weeks. It really started to look nice.

When she saw him, directing the contractor and pointing up at the second floor, a tightlipped smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

“Hi.” She said after tapping him on the shoulder.

Oliver spun around, smiling brightly when he saw her.

“Hi.” He replied breathlessly. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. The place is really starting to look like somewhere people would want to dine.” She said teasingly, gesturing at the half-built walls, scaffolding and protective canvas draped over newly installed items. “But uhm, I actually have something to show you. I know we were supposed to have dinner, but this is kind of important.”

Oliver’s eyebrows knit together. “Okay...what’s up?”

Felicity sighed, building up the courage to confess to him. And when she did, there was no turning back, or slowing down. “The thing is, I should’ve showed you this weeks ago, right after Walter disappeared, but I’ve been so busy juggling work and being with you that I completely forgot, and I don’t even know if it’s relevant but I suspect it’s the reason Walter got taken. I couldn’t go to the police because I don’t even know what it is, so you’re the only person I could think of, because, you know, what you do at night.”

“Wow, wow, Felicity, you’re rambling, slow down. What’s going on with you?”

“Can I trust you?” She asked in a small voice. She knew it was a dumb question but she needed to hear him say it.

Oliver put his hands on her upper arms. “Hey, you can trust me.” He reassured her.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled the small tan notebook out of her purse. “Have you ever seen this before?” She asked. She handed it to him and he started flipping through the pages. Felicity could see in his eyes that he wasn’t seeing anything unfamiliar.

Oliver nodded. “Yeah. Where'd you get it?”

“From Walter.” She said, examining his face for any signs. There was nothing but a clenched jaw and squinting eyes.

“Um... Well, where did he get it?” Oliver asked.

Felicity swallowed hard. “He said he found it in your house. That it belongs to your mother. Walter thought she was hiding something. Something more, and... He wanted me to look into it, but then he vanished. I think this list might have cost Walter his life.”

“You were right, you should’ve told me this weeks ago.” He spat out, his voice low. “We agreed we were going to be honest with each other, Felicity” He was upset with her, of course he was. It was her fault. She should’ve gone to him immediately. After Walter had disappeared, she’d tried to get a lead off of the book, but nothing came up.

“Oliver, I’m sorry, I forgot about it while I was busy keeping your family company from sinking to the bottom of the stock market like the titanic.”

Oliver frowned at her. “Sorry, bad metaphor.” She whispered, nervously shifting her weight from one leg to the other

He sighed and started purposely walking out of the half-finished almost-restaurant.

“Where are you going?” She called after him.

“I’m going to have a chat with my mother.” He said, slamming the door behind him, leaving Felicity in the empty building pit in the middle of the Glades. She huffed her hair out of her face. She didn’t know how she expected the night to end, but it wasn’t like this.

* * *

 

Oliver got home faster than he’d ever had before. And without any traffic accidents or speeding tickets, a true miracle. He swung the front door open purposely, eyes immediately searching for his mother’s familiar form. She wasn’t in the foyer. Closing the door behind him, he started looking for her throughout the house. He didn’t have to look far. She was in the sitting room, coat draped over her arm, looking at the TV. The eight o’clock news was on, and she didn’t seem happy about what was happening in Starling City that day. Her back was rigid, her mouth forming a tight line. She turned off the TV before he could say anything. She started pulling on her coat. This was his chance.

“Hey. Are you heading out?” He asked, pretending he’d just walked in.

Moira jumped a little, but quickly recovered, pulling her coat over her shoulders “Mm, yes.”

“A meeting with the financial planners.” She said as she tied the knot of the wrap around her waist.

Oliver frowned. “At this hour?” He asked.

She nodded. “Yes, it was the only time available, the Unidac merger is a lot of work. Was there something you needed me for?” She asked, so gently that he was actually considering dropping the issue and making up a dumb lie. She couldn’t possibly be involved, could she?

He shook off the thought. “There was something that I wanted to talk to you about, actually.”

His mother tilted her head to the side, her eyes squinting a little.

“I wanna talk to you about Walter. Right around Christmas, when he disappeared he gave me this.” He explained, showing her the notebook Felicity had kept from him for weeks. One of the only leads he had.

“This is your father's notebook.” She said with a confused frown on her face. “He kept a list of all the people in Starling City who owed him favors. I had no idea there were so many of them.”

Oliver cleared his throat. “I've been researching some of those names online and… mom,  they're not good people.”

She paged through the notebook for a moment, the silence thickening between them. “Oliver, I have no idea what your father was involved in or with whom. And you and your sister both now know that he wasn't exactly honest with me.”

Oliver could see the defeat in her eyes. A mixture of that and exasperation and betrayal.

“Then we need to find out—“ He started. “No.” Moira put a hand on his forearm.

“If what you say is true and this list is filled with bad people and Walter was looking into it and now he…” She tossed the notebook into the burning fireplace. “The only way to keep this family safe is for everyone in it to stop asking questions.”

She stepped closer to him, putting her hands on his upper arms, looking him sternly in the eye. “Including you, Oliver. Promise me.”

 

* * *

 

“You don't find that convenient, her happening to burn the book?”  Dig asked after Oliver explained what had happened when he’d confronted his mother about the notebook.

“She did it out of concern for my safety.” Oliver couldn’t help but defend her. She was his mother after all, his only living parent. He paced from one side of the foundry to the other, not helping with the tense air that hung between the two men.

“Or her own.” Dig stated,  leaning against a desk and crossing his arms over his chest. Oliver glared at him. If looks could kill John would’ve been a pile of dust right there.

“You said it yourself. Whoever compiled that list is involved in something dangerous, and if your mother is lying to you-- She didn't know any of the names.” John pointed out. He wasn’t wrong, of course he wasn’t. But Oliver’s mother, the woman who’d raised him. It couldn’t be. She didn’t lie to him.

“She said she didn't.” Oliver spat out. He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Diggle, or himself.

“You don't have to take her word for it.” Digg continued. “If this were anybody else, you'd be on your way to an arrow-side chat with them--” He started

“This isn't anybody else. This is my mother. And I know her.” Oliver cut him off.

John sighed, stood up and took his suit jacket in his hand. “I'll be driving her around for a few days.”

“You're gonna spy on her?” Oliver said in disdain.

“I’m gonna see if she meets with anyone we might be interested in.” John explained. He was the reasonable one out of the two of them. The calm one. He was objective while Oliver’s vision was clouded by feelings. Love, rage, revenge. That’s what he was most familiar with. That’s what this whole quest of him was about after all. So, John was going to be nonpartisan.

“She's not a suspect. She's my mother.” Oliver tried to persuade him. A feeble attempt.

Digg shook his head. “Which is exactly why someone needs to take a close, objective look at her.”

He walked over to his partner, towering over him just a little, giving him the same stern look he’d give his nephew Andy Junior when he was being naughty. “Oliver, something's going on in this city, you know it.”

“That doesn't mean she's involved.” Oliver bit back.

“Then there's no harm in me driving her around for a few days, is there?” Digg shrugged and walked away, not giving Oliver the chance to argue with him further, he wasn’t going to budge on his decision.

 

* * *

 

Felicity dialed the oh-so-familiar number once again, in hopes that maybe, just maybe he would pick up this time. She’d lost count of how many times she’d tried to reach Oliver, but this radio silence since he’d walked away from her at the steel factory that afternoon really wasn’t sitting with her well. She was worried about him. She needed to know if he was okay, if he wasn’t lying in a ditch somewhere, bleeding to death.

Playing with the hem of her pajama shirt, she waited, listening to the phone ringing, until finally, it went to voicemail. Oliver hadn’t recorded a greeting so she didn’t even get to hear him tell her to leave a message. She hadn’t left him any messages yet, so maybe she should. And so she waited for the beep.

“Oliver, hi.” She murmured.

“I know we didn’t leave things in the best of circumstances this afternoon but I haven’t heard from you and I’m worried. Could you please call me or text me, I just wanna know if you’re okay. I’m really sorry, I should’ve come to you sooner.”

Two short knocks on her window made her jump and whip her head around in the direction of the sound. Squinting a little, peering into the dark, she couldn’t see anything. She turned back to her task.

“Please call me, I really wanna hear your voice.” She whispered and ended the call.

With a sigh, she stood up to get herself more popcorn to go with her movie. Halfway to the kitchen, she heard the sound again. Two short knocks. A chill ran down her spine, her gut telling her that something wasn’t right. So why did she decide to check it out anyway? She would be the first one to die in a horror movie, that she was sure of.

When she stepped closer to the window she saw him, and yelped.

Oliver was sitting out on her fire escape, like it was nothing. As quickly as she could, she unlocked her window and slid it open.

“What are you doing out here? You’re aware that I have a front door, right?” She asked, stepping out of the way as he climbed inside.

“I uhm… I thought maybe you didn’t want to see me after the way I treated you this afternoon. I would understand if you wouldn’t have let me up.” He mumbled, closing the window behind him.

“Oliver…” She sighed. “Of course I’d let you up.” She stepped closer to him, putting a hand on his arm.

He smiled softly at her. “What did I do to deserve you?” He asked quietly, reaching out to cup her cheek. She leaned into his touch, letting her eyes slip shut for just a second, reveling in the moment.

“Oh that’s easy, you showed me your treehouse and I was yours forever.” She chuckled.

That made him laugh. She held him a little tighter as he bent down and pressed his lips to hers. It was soft and sweet and it was everything. Felicity hummed has his thumb stroked her cheek and leaned into him.

The moment was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his jacket pocket.

“Huh, so your phone does work.” She said matter-of-factly, the faces less than an inch away from each other, foreheads pressed together. Oliver huffed and straightened his back, pulling the phone from his pocket, his free hand holding onto Felicity’s.

“It’s Diggle, he has a lead.”

He pecked her on the lips once again, quickly this time. “I gotta go, I’ll call you tomorrow?”

Felicity nodded. “Be safe out there.”

She squeezed his hand once more before letting go and watching him disappear through the window again, vanishing in the night.

 

* * *

 

The drive from the Queen mansion was silent. It wasn’t unusual for a client not to talk or even acknowledge the existence of their driver or any member of staff, but  Moira Queen was different. She inquired about his family, what was going on in his life. She was kind, John liked her, which was why it was so difficult to be spying on her. He’d pulled the objective straw between him and Oliver, and he would do as he saw fit in the situation, but he sincerely hoped Oliver was right and Moira was indeed not connected to whatever was going on in Starling City.

“No need to get out of the car, Mr. Diggle. It's just my accountant. The only threat is boredom.” Moira said as he gracefully swerved the car into a parking spot.

“It's no problem at all, Mrs. Queen. It's my job.” Diggle replied.

Moira nodded, opening her own door. “Yes. Well, then, take the night off. I'm quite all right.”

A moment later, her door slammed shut and Diggle watched her enter the modern looking building. Taking a deep breath, he waited until she was out of view and followed her inside. It was easy, pretending to be her security detail and keeping an acceptable distance.

He ended up on the fifteenth floor, and he barely saw her entering an office at the end of the hallway. Glancing around, he made sure the coast was clear before slipping into a supply closet next to the office. He’d prepared for this. He cleared the wall connected to the office in question and fished a tiny device out of his pocket. He attached it to the wall and put in his earpiece.

“What do you want? It's taken care of. I've taken care of it. Carl Ballard will not be a problem anymore.” Moira Queen said, her voice a little distorted.

It didn’t take long for that conversation to get interesting.

* * *

 

Oliver typed in the code to the foundry. The door opened and before it had the chance to fall shut again, Oliver had already ascended the staircase. Digg was waiting for him.

“Thanks for coming. It didn't seem like a good idea to talk at your house.” Digg said, turning in his chair to face Oliver.

Oliver scoffed. “Yeah, would've been awkward for you to explain to my mother - that you're spying on her.”

Shaking his head, John stood up, holding out a small device. “No, man. The awkward part's coming up.”

“You bugged my mother?” Oliver growled, taking the device from his partner with a little too much force.

Diggle sighed. “Just listen.”

Without another word, Oliver pressed play on the recorder.

“It's taken care of. I've taken care of it. Carl Ballard will not be a problem anymore.” Moira’s voice rang through the silenced foundry, echoing off the walls. As the device adjusted to the thickness of the walls it had recorded through, her voice got distorted, making her sound like she was possessed by a demon, for just a moment.

Oliver turned around, walking over to his desk and leaned against it.

Another, unfamiliar voice piped up. “Given your propensity for squeamishness I'm assuming that Mr. Ballard remains in good health.”

It was impossible to recognize the voice of the other person in the room, the tones were too low for the recorder to pick up, making it sound grainy, so it was probably a man.

 “I made it clear to him, persuasively, that his plans endanger the undertaking. I didn't have to make the usual threats.” Moira continued.

Oliver’s face fell. He exhaled deeply, both disappointed in his mother and angry at himself for believing her.

“Excellent.” The voice said. “Now, one more matter to attend to. I need you to have the contents of this address removed and disposed of thoroughly. The warehouse where you're storing the remains of the Queen's Gambit.”

Oliver’s gaze met Diggle’s in a silent plea to please tell him that what he was hearing wasn’t true, that he was dreaming, that his mother…

“I already told you, I knew Robert's yacht was sabotaged. And I don't think it serves for anyone to find evidence of that.” Moira said, way too casually.

Oliver’s heart sank in his chest. How could she do this? She knew the yacht was sabotaged. Did she know before sending them off at the docks that day? Did she say goodbye to him knowing they were gonna die? Did she send him and Sara to their deaths even if his father was the target.

“I'm sorry, man.” Diggle said quietly.

“The yacht was sabotaged? Somebody tried to kill my father.” Oliver’s head was spinning, he was trying to make sense of it all, but it just… didn’t…

“Your mother was involved somehow.” Digg said.

Oliver shook his head. “You do not know that she was involved, Diggle.”

Digg crossed his arms over his chest. “What I do know, Oliver, and so do you is that she kept this a secret.”

“Why would she do that if she didn't have something to hide?” He reasoned.

Oliver didn’t respond, instead he pressed play on the audio again, listening to the entire conversation once again. It still didn’t make sense. The third time he pressed play, Digg took his jacket and left the foundry. Oliver needed some time alone to process the newfound information, and so he would give him just that.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Diggle found him in the exact same position. He wasn’t sure Oliver had actually moved, but he really hoped he’d at least gotten something to eat. A vigilante on a hunger strike was no good to anyone.

“I’ve listened to it fifty times, It's definitely her voice, Diggle. I just I can't believe it's her.” Oliver muttered as John took the last steps down the staircase.

Digg sighed, walking over to put a hand on his shoulder. “We all have blind spots when it comes to family.”

“Yeah.” Oliver ran a hand over his face in exasperation.

“I made it clear to him, persuasively that his plans endanger the undertaking.” Moira’s voice spoke softly, the audio volume turned down. “I didn't have to make the usual threats.”

“What's the undertaking?” Digg asked.

Oliver shook his head and turned off the recording. “I don't know. But with all this talk about threats, it can't be good.”

His eyes narrowed and he sighed. “You warned me that if she was lying it would be to cover up her involvement in something dangerous.”

Oliver turned to look at Diggle for the first time since his partner had walked down the stairs. “I need to know what the undertaking is.”

“What are you gonna do?” Diggle asked.

Oliver stood up and walked over to where he kept his suit. “I need to have another chat with my mom.”

* * *

 

[outfits](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/collection?.locale=nl&id=3979393)


End file.
